Check out this news story about the mom who was sent home from the hospital for being in false labor.  She had the baby in her driveway!!  Reminded me of my first birth.  I was also sent home because I definitely wasn’t in labor, according to the nurse.  (yeah….8 days past my due date….no way THAT could be real labor, right?!)  By the time we went back to the hospital my son was born within 20 minutes of walking through the door, and that was only because I was holding off on pushing to wait for THEM to get their act together.  I should have just had him at home!

~Erica

I’ve never been a photogenic gal, but I kinda like this recent photo of me holding my new great-niece Sadie. This was taken at a family wedding in June. My 11 year old daughter is off to the left with the cute smile on her face.

Recently there was a discussion on an egroup I am a part of. The topic had to do with requiring children to take piano or other music lessons as a regular, required part of growing up. It was interesting to see how many mothers had the opinion that musical training was essential for their child’s life and that they would require a certain level of musical training for their children even if the child did not have an interest in it, was not musically inclined, or even hated having to take lessons.

I think we’ve all known of people that were brought up being forced to take piano lessons. My guess is that this was probably more common when people that are now in their 40s and older were children. I never could see the sense in that, and now that I have six children of my own I still don’t.

Although I think musical training can be a good thing, I cannot imagine “forcing” my child to take music lessons.

I think team building is a great thing, but I would not force my children to be on a team sport.

I think healthy eating is a great thing, but I am not going to force broccoli down my child’s throat.

One thing that I have noticed in my own life and with my children is that, with exposure to many things (music, sports, foods, whatever) the children get to “nibble” on things and see what stirs their heart and soul. When someone’s heart and soul is stirred toward a thing, they are much more receptive learners, and more able to learn. When the thing is a chore…..well, they may learn it eventually, and they may even appreciate it eventually…..but it’s still drudgery.

I have noticed that if my children thought we were going to force them to stick with something (a sports team, for instance) they are much less willing to even give it a nibble. They do not feel free to give something a look-see, knowing they are not getting saddled with something they are not sure about. Now, obviously, I am not talking about not following through on commitments to teams, etc. If my child decides he wants to play basketball on a team, we let him know up front that his decision means he will have to follow through and play all season long. Now, this is good because they learn about commitment, and he has to give the thing a good, solid try, plus the child will get enough time with the sport to see if they ever want to play again. They are not going to have to play basketball for the rest of their life until they are 18!

If I was interested in knitting and had learned about it’s various virtues from those that love it, and I wanted to give it a try, I’d want to be able to try to make a scarf without thinking that now I have to knit for the rest of my life. I would not be willing to try that! Life is too short for me to get saddled with a “hobby” that I may not enjoy, no matter how much others love it or find it’s virtues edifying!

Overall, I want my children to be able to explore things until they find the ones that connect to their “bent.” I am not so bold as to think that I already know what these things will be. My children’s lives are planned by God, not by me. I am not going to force their time into something optional when it may in fact be crowding out God’s best for them….whether I see the specific value in that thing or not.

My grandmother was a proponent of requiring music lessons for children, and often told my mother that her children (me and my sibs) would live out the ill effects of not having been forced into this.

Well, I played cello for a couple years as a child and then stopped. Now, I would like to play cello again…and I am going to! Do I wish I had been forced to stick with it? Nope. But I am glad I had the time to get familiar with cello enough to later in my life know that I would like to do that again.

My brother played saxophone as a kid for a couple of years and stopped. Later, in his 20s, he became interested in guitar, ukelele, and many other instruments and ended up teaching himself to play all of them! He is now a professional musician that travels worldwide with his music. Obviously he is not suffering from lack of piano lessons or whatever he might have missed in his youth.

I want my children’s memories of me and our life together while they grew up to be full of thoughts of how they got to nibble and explore, that their parents were humble in realizing that God’s plan is unique for them, and that we were willing to put our own dreams aside in favor of helping that child cultivate their ability to listen to God and follow where he leads. If the child thinks they are lead to car repair and later find out they should become a music minister, nothing has been lost, but my child’s knowledge of listening to God and trusting his parents has been built up. My children know that if we really, really feel strongly about a particular path for them, they will listen because we are not just forcing things on them all the time.

Obviously singing at church or devotions, and some basic music understanding is part of a well-rounded education. Past that, I would not force a child into heavy musical involvement.

I think it helps when we ask ourselves

What do I want them to learn?

What do I want them to carry with them?

What do I want them to remember?

Today we are celebrating my son Isaac’s 7th birthday. This is the story of my pregnancy with him, and his premature birth and hospital stay. (I wrote it way back when he was a one year old. Isaac now has two younger brothers, ages almost 6 and 4.) After such a rocky start in his life, it is so wonderful to see him so healthy, strong, and smart. He is my miracle baby, even if he is a big seven year old now.

Let me tell you a little about my husband and me and the way we are as parents. We have always been close to our children. We hold our babies a lot. We do not leave them to cry. We do not leave them with babysitters when they are babies. We carry our babies in a sling. Our babies have all slept with us, and so have our toddlers and older ages who feel the need to be close to us at night. We try to be careful in our considerations of how to do things with and for our children. They are very precious to us and we see our role as parents as a Holy commission from God. With our 4th pregnancy and birth, we were about to find out how hard it would be to have so much of what is important to us disrupted and threatened.

When our third child, JP, was 15 months old we were thrilled to become pregnant again. Hubby and I had talked a lot about having an unassisted birth this time around. We felt very confident in our abilities to work together and have a baby without outside help. Hubby had caught babies #2 and 3 and loved that, and I never felt that I needed any other support than that from him. He was the only one I could be real with and that brought me peace.

When I was 2-3 months along I suddenly had some bleeding. I was alarmed at this and immediately began to pray for my baby. I did everything I knew to do to help, and the bleeding did slow down and by the next day had stopped. I was very careful after that to do no heavy lifting, etc. It was right before Christmas and I let a lot of errands and activities go undone. Two weeks later I had an odd episode of a sudden blood pressure surge. After that we went in to see our family doctor. He had no idea what to think of the blood pressure surge, but was able to put our minds to ease about the health of our precious baby, since we were able to hear his heartbeat.

One other puzzling thing at this visit was that I was measuring 4 weeks farther along than I thought I was. The doctor suggested we come back in a few weeks for an ultrasound to check for twins. Although we did not normally consent to ultrasound, because of the bleeding, blood pressure thing, and my much larger than expected self, we decided to go ahead. What we found was that I was actually a month farther along than I thought I was! I would have been less surprised to find that I was carrying triplets! But, still, not many women get to shave a whole month off of their pregnancies in a day, so I wasn’t about to complain! One other odd thing we found was a sort of strange blood bubble right over my cervix. The doctor was not sure what it was all about, but supposed that could be the cause of my periodic bleeding. (I had bled 2 or 3 times between our first visit with him and the ultrasound.)

In the weeks to come I had more bleeding episodes. It usually happened on a Friday, so it was not a time when I could get in to see my midwife from my third pregnancy or the doctor she works with. By Sat. or Sunday it was usually stopped again. I felt very precarious about things. Then, at 21 weeks I started bleeding on a Friday and it did not stop. I went in to see my doctor on Monday, and we decided to do another ultrasound. The blood bubble looked a little different, and at that point my doctor thought I may have placenta previa. He sent me on my way to a high-risk OB that had a more advanced ultrasound. On my way there I felt like I was in a fog. I had never been healthier going into a pregnancy than I was for this one. I had been eating a whole foods diet, no sugar, no meat, no dairy. I felt great. I was expecting to have the very best pregnancy I had ever had. So how could this be happening to me?!

My husband and I went on to the high risk place and had very kind treatment by the staff and doctor there. The baby looked great and healthy in every way. We were asked if we wanted to know the baby’s sex. We had never done this before and I immediately said no. But my husband said to me, “Let’s just have some good news right now. OK?” We have never had a preference about the sex of our babies, and we would have been thrilled with a boy or a girl. Somehow it seemed that it would be encouraging to know who we had inside there. It was very clear that we had another precious son!

We could not tell for sure what the blood bubble was about or if I had placenta previa, but clearly there was a problem and the doctor recommended that I go on full bed rest until further notice. What a shock! Bed rest?! I had 3 children at home, ages 1, 3, and 7. I homeschoolled then. My husband works 24 hour shifts! Oh my…

The drive home was surreal. I was in shock. I was suddenly in a high risk pregnancy. Wow.

We had been considering a few different names for our baby. Once we knew we had a son, there was no doubt in my mind what his name was. Isaac Elijah. Isaac means laughter, and when facing a scary pregnancy, I felt we should name him on faith that he would bring laughter to our lives. Elijah means gift from God. No need to explain that, eh? So, Isaac Elijah was his name.

I was on bed rest for 7 weeks, during which I experienced hemorrhaging 3 different times and was rushed to the hospital. In the hospital I was put on magnesium sulfate and turbutaline to keep my uterus calm. Uteruses are very smart. When they have something foreign inside of them they contract in order to expel it. Unfortunately for me, I kept bleeding, it kept irritating my uterus, and my uterus kept contracting…..which was putting my baby in jeopardy.

When I was 28 weeks I made my final emergency trip to the hospital for my worst hemorrhaging ever. I was found to be dilated to 4 cm. and was bleeding all the time (as I had been for the entire bedrest). We were told it was best for me to plan to stay in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy since I lived nearly an hour away and things were so precarious. If I had thought bed rest at home was bad, being separated from my children was worse! I had never been away from my children until these hospital visits, and I missed them so badly and was just aching thinking of 3 long months of hospitalization and separation. I had already had to wean Jacob abruptly because of all the contractions I had been having. Now I could not even share cuddles and security with him throughout the day and night. When the children would come to visit me, Jacob refused to sit with me, touch me, or let me touch him. I am sure that all of my tubes and wires looked pretty scary to him.

I had to have the external uterine and contraction monitor belts on me at all times in order to keep tabs on my baby and whether or not I was having a placental abruption. I was told that this was the single most helpful indicator of danger. I hated knowing that my baby was constantly being bombarded with ultrasound. But I felt I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was getting to be a familiar feeling.

I was given steroid shots in order to help my baby’s lungs develop quicker. I had reservations about the wisdom of such shots, but with no time to research this, we felt we had to go with this recommendation in the hopes that it would help our baby.

Because of all the bleeding I continued to have, I ended up with a catheter. They did not want me to get out of bed at all, as any movement I had seemed to make the bleeding worse. It was such a humiliating and painful experience to have the catheter put in, and it was so very uncomfortable to have in. But, once again, it really did seem to be something reasonable that had to be done.

After a few days (maybe 5 or so) I started having contractions that I recognized as real ones. Despite all of our efforts, labor could not be stopped. We had increased the medications all that we could, and yet it was happening. Our baby needed to be born. My uterus could not hold him in any longer.

Once the doctors realized what was going on, they told me they wanted me to have a c-section. WHAT?! A c-sec for a 2 pound baby? I was indignant! My third baby had been almost 10 lbs. But, they explained to me that my baby was breech (which I already knew) and for preemies, their heads are more disproportionate to their bodies than full term babies. Apparently, sometimes when a preemie is breech, they will begin to be born before the mom is fully dilated, but then their head gets caught. I did not feel at all convinced that this was a big enough risk that I should submit to a c-section. I had done enough reading to know way more than I wanted to about the risks of the surgery, plus the risks of whatever pain relief I would choose. The doctors stressed that the combination of the breech risks, plus not knowing what other issues my baby might be facing at such an early gestation, that a c-sec would be the best thing. They were very respectful of our concern about having unneeded surgery. We told them we needed some time to pray about this and think it over. They left the room.

We called a few friends (at 5am!) and asked them to pray for the baby to turn out of his breech position so that I could have a vaginal birth. We prayed. Hubby and I decided that if the baby had not turned within 15 minutes that we would go ahead with the c-sec. The baby did not turn. We got the doctors back in and told them we would accept the c-sec. I made it clear that I was very concerned that I get a low transverse incision and that I hoped to go on to have more children and so they better be careful of me! The doctor was very kind and said that they would definitely do all they could to keep my body in good condition for future pregnancies.

The room went into a whirlwind of activity. I was getting an epidural, having my IV redone, signing papers, drinking nasty sour stuff to neutralize the contents of my stomach. Oh…and having contractions. The OR was brightly lit. I hated being in there and going numb and not having my husband with me. They were shaving some of my pubic hair. Everyone in masks. It made me feel like I was in outer space or something. But I had to do this for my baby. Hubby was then allowed into the room and the surgery began. It wasn’t long before Isaac was out. Hub exclaimed, “He’s breathing, honey! He’s pink! He looks great!” Then our baby was passed off to the NICU team without anyone having the decency to even let me look at him.

That was so painful. I was so saddened by that, I couldn’t even form the words to ask to look at my son. It seemed like it should have been so obvious to one and all that I needed to see my baby—the one I was sacrificing myself for! And yet nobody seemed to notice.

Isaac Elijah. 2 1/2 lbs. 13 inches long. Miracle baby.

Hubby went along with Isaac and ran back and forth to tell me what was going on. He was breathing and surpassing the NICU teams expectations. He did not need a ventilator or a central line. He was going to be a low-maintenance preemie.

The surgery was finished up with me being given some heavy drug that knocked me out for hours. I had never consented to such a thing and am still really bothered by that to this day. I can remember being so desperately thirsty and not being able to ask for water or ice, nor to reach for it myself, nor to find the call button to get help. My husband was off to the NICU to supervise what was happening with Isaac (which is exactly where I wanted him to be).

I later found out that when the doctors removed the placenta they found the real source of our problems in the pregnancy. I had a 50% abruption. It was along the back where I guess it could not really be seen by the ultrasound.

Knowing about this abruption has brought me peace about having agreed to the cesarean. If I had gone on to labor and attempt a vaginal birth it could have cost me my precious baby, and possibly even my own life.

The following pictures were taken when Isaac was about 1 week old.

I

Kangaroo care

Feeding through a tube

Isaac spent 40 long days in the NICU. I could tell you a lot of things about those 40 days.

I could tell you how awful it is to be in so much pain after surgery that you can’t even hitch yourself up to see your tiny baby who is inside of a plastic incubator.

I could tell you how bad it is to not be able to hold your baby for the first 5 days of his life. And I could tell you of the joy of finally getting to hold my baby and getting to feel **just a little bit** normal during that short first hold.

I could tell you how utterly sad it is to have strangers determine how long you can hold your baby for….and how soothing it is to get an experienced nurse who knows that my baby does best next to my skin for as long as possible.

I can tell you about the outrage we felt as so-called experts wanted to inject our just-born 2 1/2 lb, baby with a hepatitis shot because I did not have labs proving that I did not have it. (My husband battled this one while I was unconscious, and our son did not get poisoned by those people.)

I could tell you about pumping my breasts around the clock to be able to feed my baby. And the joy of having way more milk than he could possibly use.

I could tell you how I felt to be on a death walk every day as I left my 3 older children with friends, to go to the hospital, and then felt like dying again as I had to put my baby back in his box so that I could go home again. I could not be what I wanted to be to any of my children! Misery.

I could tell you how utterly awful it feels to have to walk away from your baby and leave him with a nurse who has been referring to other tiny babies as “spoiled brats.”

I could tell you how sad it is to not have been able to protect your baby from someone giving him the wrong medication.

I could tell you about the day that I decided to keep on trusting God only because the alternative was too painful for me to deal with.

I could tell you of the joy of walking out of that hospital with my tiny 4 lb. son and bringing him home where we could give him love and protection all day long…. Of the joy of seeing my older children meet their baby brother for the very first time….

Together for the first time.

I could tell you about the joy of finally getting my baby to nurse after 3 months of pumping….and the sadness of losing my milk supply completely when I became pregnant a few months later.

And now Isaac has been with us for 15 months. He is a wonderful, healthy, happy, smart, and loving boy. Despite his hard start in life, I do believe that he is as secure and happy as any of my other children. Our new baby is due at any time now, and I am hoping to reestablish my nursing relationship with Isaac once I have milk again.

Going through this experience with Isaac has given me a whole new understanding and appreciation for life and for understanding that things do not always go as we think they should. I am sure that I am now a much less judgmental person and more compassionate to those who have found themselves in situations where they were stuck choosing between two very poor alternatives. I don’t think I will ever be quick to assume why someone is bottle-feeding their baby ever again. I know I will never experience pregnancy the same way again, as I now have seen and held a tiny little guy who should not have been in my arms for 3 more months. My husband and I have grown so much through our experience with Isaac’s pregnancy and birth. I hope we never have to endure anything so difficult again.

I am so thankful to have laughter each day with my precious gift from God, Isaac Elijah.

(Something I wrote back in the fall of 2004)

2 little preschoolers with their backpacks walking down the driveway to the bus. One always turns and waves to me as the bus drives away. He looks so happy and full of adventure, his big brown eyes smiling at me out the bus window. “Bye Mom!!!” Most days the bus pulls away and I stand there for a second after I stop waving back and have to put a hand to my heart and try not to cry….

A 6 year old son who claims the best part of his day is spent with *me* because I’m “such a sweet mother.”

An 8 year old who will see a need and take care of it, and will make a dozen little paper hearts all carefully colored and drawn upon that all bear the same message: “I love you mom!”

A round, soft bundle of giggles that is my youngest child, learning to identify eyebrows and tell his own name, running along beside me as I walk, always wanting to keep up. Always a ready smile on that face.

Kids who get off the bus every day and smile and wave as they come up the driveway, all eager to tell me about their day and give me hugs and kisses.

A 12 year old who, despite having a strong tendency toward sullenness lately, will still hug and be hugged, and tells us he loves us.

Little ones who learn more than you thought possible.

Little surprises every here and there where a child dazzles you with some piece of knowledge, or strength of character that you did not realize they possessed.

Breastmilk breath on a one year old.

Little songs learned from preschool and shared at home, with a lot of hummed parts for words forgotten or unknown.

Sibling hugs and kisses.

Bedtime prayers and snuggles.

Kids who think that mom’s bread is the best.

Homemade entertainment, including puppet shows, made up songs and dances, and skits.

(I wrote this back in October 2004 when I was in the throes of potty training two preschoolers….one of my funnier works, if I do say so myself.)

The Potty News Network.
All Potty, All The Time.

(PNN press) Yesterday war was declared on two unsuspecting terrorists, Izzy Bin Peein and Doodles Bin Poopin. The terrorists had been going about their business unencumbered for 4.5 and 3 years, respectively. Their crime: The Only Two Children in Preschool Still in Diapers. President Mami Bin Changin, learned of their crime and decided to take matters into her own hands. “This means war!” she declared to the crowd that had assembled to hear her speech over the weekend.

Mami Bin Changin took the first strike in the cold brightness of Monday morning, when she told Bin Peein and Bin Poopin that they had to do time on the potty before they would be allowed to go on the bus to school. While they sat she told them of their crime, and let them know that war had been declared and would not end until they changed their messy ways.

Bin Poopin fought back with a double retaliatory strike, soiling two pair of underwear in less than 20 minutes. Bin Peein took the opposite approach by keeping his underwear dry, agreeing to do time on the pot, but saving his soiling for the diaper that he was changed into before preschool.

Later on Monday Mami Bin Changin began to stockpile weapons:
Potty Posters
Potty Stickers
Potty Prizes
and other Potty Paraphernalia

Mami Bin Changin’s Military Advisor Daddi Bin Feddup suggested new underwear, but only if it could be purchased in the color brown. Mami Bin Changin decided against taking this advice and instead purchased fresh Spongebob and Scooby underwear. Her strategy? “I’m going to do all I can to break down the walls of terrorism! If it takes candy or prizes or cartoon undergarments, I’ll follow this thing through!”

Attenders of her speech were amazed at the steadfast resolution that Mami Bin Changin displayed. “I’ve never seen her so determined!” “All those prizes and stickers….Bin Peein and Bin Poopin don’t stand a chance.” “She’s a strong leader. When she puts her mind to something, there’s no stopping her. It won’t take long for Bin Peein and Bin Poopin to change their ways.”

Mami Bin Changin declared that the war would be relentless until won, even if it takes months or years. “It will cost the taxpayers money, time, resources, and energy, but we will press on. The victory that we will win shall ensure peace and prosperity in our society. We cannot back down!”

PNN correspondents will be on the scene 24 hours a day until the conflict is resolved. PNN: The leader in potty news.

I’ve been reflecting recently on the ways my parents instilled a generous spirit in me, and wanted to share it with other parents, because I don’t think it’s something most parents think about or focus on.

My parents were not people who usually had extra money. I’m not sure that extra money had been invented by that point in history. There were three kids, a fixer-upper house, self-employment, braces, and plenty more bills besides that. You can probably identify.

I don’t remember my parents focusing on what we didn’t have. And more importantly, I don’t remember them ever holding back from hospitality, kindness, or generosity even though I now realize that it must have been really hard.

My parents taught me things like:

-Support your local fire fighters and police and appreciate the work they do for your community. You never know when you will need their help. But even if they never help you, they help others. And that’s important.

-Shop local when you can even if it costs a little extra. Your neighbors deserve your support, and you need to appreciate the services they provide.

-Actively care for those that have less than you do. My parents had a habit of kind of adopting this family we knew each Christmas. They had three kids and it was a single parent home. They had a lot of needs, and my parents somehow carved out money from the already very tight Christmas budget to leave gifts (secretly) for these people. They never took credit for it either.

-and that ties into the next one: Be generous without being showy. Do good for the sake of doing good. For the sake of human compassion. Not because other people will think you’re wonderful.

-Be hospitable with what you have. Don’t stress about what you don’t. I can remember my mom coming home from some ladies meeting at church or something, and telling about this seminar she attended about hospitality. The speaker focused on all the proper utensils, place settings, centerpieces, etc. that a good hostess should have in order to invite others to her home. My mom’s wise reaction was that for her to wait for the “proper” hospitality items would mean we’d never open our home to others for the rest of our life. Fortunately, we were able to have lots of people over to our house even though it wasn’t big, wasn’t fancy, and wasn’t perfect. Be who you are. Share what you have.

I have no idea what other generous things my parents did for other people, but there is no doubt in my mind that there were many things that were never mentioned to anyone else.

I’ve known people for whom a true spirit of generosity was extremely difficult. People who seem to feel that they have to hoard all good things unto themselves. People who can’t do a good deed without getting a pat on the head for it. People who can’t do right with humility, but instead do right to feel like they are “better people” than others.

Truly, you won’t be able to instill pure generosity in your children until you have it and live it yourself. You have to lead by example in your life to be the kind of person you want your children to be. Children have a keen ability to sniff out fakes. They may not mention it to you, but if you are faking it they will be able to tell.

Now, you don’t have to wait to feel good about generosity before bringing your children into it. There’s nothing wrong with struggling and learning together. You can start with natural opportunities that come along, like mentioning to your child why you make some of the generous choices you make. Help them to see opportunities in their life when they can give more than their “fair share” and be ok with it. Let them get glimpses of you doing the same, but don’t make a big deal out of it.

How can you cultivate a generous spirit in your own life?

You could start by being generous secretly, and keep doing that until it becomes easier for you. Zoe Children’s Homes

is one of my very favorite organizations, and they take online donations via paypal which is easy and private. You may know of other organizations that are meaningful to you, so you could start there.You could respond to a fundraiser for something that hits your heart, like sponsoring children in foreign countries, and you could just give because you want to, rather than make a dozen excuses to yourself about why you’d rather not this time.

You could invite some people over for dinner or dessert. You could make an unexpected gift or meal for someone that social circumstances don’t compel you to do.

Some families decide to sponsor a child that is very close in age to their own child, and include their children in the process by allowing them to do some work to help raise the support money, or perhaps decide to forgo a family treat like eating out at a restaurant in favor of using the money as a donation. Child sponsorship puts a real face with the needs, which makes generosity more tangible for kids. Compassion International is a great choice for this.

Do you give money to your church or local charities? Encourage your child to give regularly, and point out the blessings that come from it.

I have known some children that had birthday parties where gifts were not allowed, but donations to well-loved charities were allowed. How wonderful!

The interesting thing about being generous is that once you can get past your hesitations and give with a pure heart of love, you will feel so happy to have been able to give! Also, many times being able to be a conduit for generosity will end up coming back around to you in ways you would not have expected. It is surprising and fun.

There are so many great needs in this world, but often we get caught up in our own lives and don’t take time to care enough to make a difference. It is my belief that if everyone just stretched a little father and gave a little bit more, many needs would be met and the world would be a better place. So, next time you and your family learn of a need, why not ask yourself, “What can we do?” and then do it. You’ll be doing your kids, and the world, a big favor!

I was just over at one of my favorite blogs and had a brainstorm I wanted to share with mothers. The post was about the blog author, mom of three young kiddos (approx 5, 3, and 1), thinking about going to finish her nursing degree, and feeling like she wanted to spend NOW with her kids, but was afraid that if she didn’t finish the degree soon that she might somehow be unable to handle the courses or something.

Being a mom of six and having lots and lots of big dreams, I can identify with her struggle. Now that my kids are in school I have had time to start my two new businesses, write books, and do a few more of the things I’ve been waiting to do for 14 years of motherhood. It feels really good to be able to do these things and I am thankful to be at this stage of life.

BUT, I want to tell you moms–the days when your kids are little they want you so much, need you so much, and you are laying groundwork that is going to last for the rest of their lives!

“The days are long but the years go fast” is a saying I’ve heard more than a few times. Indeed, I have had some long days. When I was in the midst of what I jokingly refer to as my “baby avalanche” years (I had 3 babies in 3 years) I had entire months and years when I was so swamped that I often got through days and weeks by telling myself “This won’t last forever. It’s going to get better. Hang on. Hang on. It’s going to pass…”

Yes, it can be tough to be a mom. And, if we have a chance to dream, we remember that we have lots of other things we would like to do! While I think it’s important to find a way to do some of those things if we are able to, I think it is important to remember that our babies will grow up and our time to follow more of our interests will come.

Some of the most inspirational people I know of have started careers in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond. One of my oldest son’s favorite authors, Brian Jaques (Redwall series), is in his late 60s now, and had his first book published just 20 years ago! He had grown children, had worked in various jobs and careers, and yet went on to become a world-wide writing sensation! WOW!

My own mom went to nursing school when she was about 40. She had never even wanted to be a nurse, was never particularly good at science courses in high school or college, and fainted at the sight of blood. But she needed a job, and the nursing program near us was ideal. She did it. Now she’s 56, has been a nurse for about 13 years, and has done great at it. If she can do it, you can too.

I’ve been working on becoming a Certified Natural Health Professional for over a year now. When I took my first class I was worried that my brain wouldn’t work for a class situation any more. I had been on the at-home-mommy track for 13 years! Happily, my brain still did (and still does) work. Somewhere along the line I have stopped being worried that I have less than what it takes to do whatever I want to do.

The kids are only little once. I know everybody says that. But, it’s true. If your heart is to be with them, then just Live It, and live it big. Dress them cute. Play in the back yard. Take a ton of pictures. Throw the funnest birthday parties. Read them bedtime stories. Let them crawl into bed with you. Cut crusts off their bread. Bake cookies. Take them to the library. Let yourself enjoy the stage you’re at without worrying that you’re somehow rotting your brain by not doing other things now. You will have what it takes when the time comes.

Right now is the only chance you’ve got to bask in being MOMMY to your precious kiddos. We never know how long we’ll have them, so live and enjoy your family without regrets! Later on they won’t need you in the same ways, and you’ll be available to pursue some other fun stuff.

It’s hard to wait. But if you open your heart and mind to the incredible treat you have with your little ones in your lap *right now* it will be easier to have a heart that is at rest, and to focus your talents, creativity, and skills on your home and family. You’ve got an incredible opportunity to bless and be blessed. Don’t miss it!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? We never got into Santa here. Not because we thought it was terrible or anything, just that we never wanted the people that were so generous with our kids to not be acknowledged for their gifts. Our kids talk about Santa but think of him more as a guy who turns up at the fire department Christmas party and gives them a little bag of candy and fruit.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? We don’t do outside lights. Inside I would prefer white lights that don’t blink, but my husband wanted to let the tree be kid-friendly, so we have colored lights that do about 10 different options of blinking, fading, etc. I don’t like them, but the kids think it’s fun.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope. I thought about getting some this year, but, know what? It’s really kind of ugly. I decided not to.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Some years we do it the day after Thanksgiving if we have relatives visiting that we are going to celebrate an early Christmas with. This year we just put our tree and decorations up 3 days ago.

6. What is your favorite holiday food (excluding dessert)? I don’t know. I can never do just one favorite of anything. I look forward to really good mashed potatoes (they are best with sour cream and cream cheese in them!).

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Every Christmas Eve we would go to my grandparent’s house to celebrate Christmas with my uncle and his family. We would have a big dinner and then open gifts. It was fun to see our cousins, and of course kids always like to open gifts. On the way home we would drive around neighborhoods that had really good lights and outdoor decorations. I loved that drive on the way home, and I would always look out the window to look in the sky and see if Santa was out there flying around……

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I think I just figured it out gradually, once I knew that the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy weren’t real.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Some years we do. We don’t have a set rule about it.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? It’s all family memories. As I shared in a recent post, we only get ornaments that are meaningful to us. So, each year we now add 8 or more ornaments to our tree that each member of our family has chosen. So, no theme or coordination for us, other than family. Which I think is pretty good.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? A little snow for my kids to enjoy is fun, but I am thankful every single year that I no longer live in Central New York. I don’t think I would ever want to live anywhere with a lot of snow again.

12. Can you ice skate? Well, I was able to as a teenager. Ice skating and hockey were a big thing where we lived. I don’t know if I could skate now, though. I think it would probably be too likely for me to get hurt.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? A few memorable gifts over the years include a Barbie townhouse (it even had an elevator that you could make go up and down the three floors of the house!), stuffed animals that my parents left unwrapped and looking very cute sitting on top of presents by our tree, and contact lenses when I was a teenager.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family and experiencing good stuff that makes happy memories.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Apple pie.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Purchasing special ornaments for each family member.

17. What tops your tree? A rustic star.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Both!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I still like this one from high school chorus that was something about “Pinecones and holly berries, popcorn for you, apples for me, red striped candy, nutcrackers handy, kettle a-bubbling, holiday tea…..” I don’t know the title of the song, but it was really fun to sing and has stuck in my mind for all these years. Actually, now that I think of it, I think the song was “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas” but had those lyrics as a bridge/vocal overlay during one part of the song. (like a round) I honestly do not like most Christmas carols. Most loathed Christmas carols include: Silent Night, Oh Little Town of Bethlehem, and What Child is This.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I like the little ones ok, but would prefer fudge any day!

Some of you may know that in addition to The Baby Boutique at Womb’s Window, I also run Supermom’s No-Lice Advice, a business dedicated to preventing and eliminating head lice safely and effectively, without the use of harmful chemicals. Today I found out that Supermom’s was features on the Biz Moms blog! You can check it out here.

Welcome to The Baby Boutique Blog! I’m Erica Johns, owner of The Baby Boutique at Womb’s Window. I’ve got a lot of great plans for making this blog one you won’t want to miss. I’ll be telling you more about that later, but for now I’d like to tell you a little bit about me.

I’m 35 years old and have been married to my husband Dave for 15 years, and we have six children, ages 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, and 14. The 10 year old is my only girl. (Yep–5 boys!)

I’ve had a pretty wide range of experiences in being a mom. I’ve had great pregnancies and a high-risk one, I’ve had babies at the hospital, at home, on land, in water, with doctors, with midwives, alone with my husband, and have had 2 life-saving c-sections. I’ve breastfed and bottle fed. I’ve had a baby 3 months early, and one 5 weeks “late.” It’s been a little bit of everything, based on the needs we were faced with.

I’ve been blessed to be able to stay at home with my kids, but have a strong entrepreneurial tendency, so have several business irons in the fire. My business Supermom’s No-Lice Advice educates and equips parents to prevent and eliminate head lice safely and effectively. The Baby Boutique is my newest business, officially opening yesterday! I am also working on a book about healthy eating, and will be opening a health and wellness business in early 2007. If all goes well, I have several other businesses, books, and products coming up after that.

I love to read and have a local book group that I participate in every month. I am also in the process of becoming a Certified Natural Health Professional. I also enjoy writing, so all the newsletters, blog posts, articles, and forums are good for me.

I look forward to getting to know you!

~Erica