Bless Them (by The Down Syndrome Express)
When I was in fifth grade, I spent the night with my friend, Karen. Her parents took us to the drive-in to see my first PG movie, Bless the Beasts and the Children. The Carpenters sang the title song, and they were my favorite group, with many of their songs touching me deeply. The movie ended with the tragic death of a character I had gotten quite attached to, so I found the whole experience very poignant and it has always stuck with me emotionally.
Here is an excerpt from the song:
Bless the beasts and the children
For in this world they have no voice
They have no choice
Bless the beasts and the children
For the world can never be
The world they see
Light their way
When the darkness surrounds them
Give them love
Let it shine all around them
I realized recently that I think of this song every time I think of a child, especially one with special needs. And because all the emotions of seeing that movie, hearing the song, and being so deeply moved by the music of The Carpenters, I have a very special place in my heart for ANYONE who seems to be in an underdog position.
Although I did not understand how to show compassion to special needs people when I was a child, now that I am a mother of 4 typical children and 1 special needs child, I have a huge amount of that compassion. Compassion is good, of course, but I have read much by parents of special needs kids who say they see their kids as no different from the others, in terms of how the parents treat the kids. Setting boundaries, setting expectations, all those things are still in place with their special needs kids.
I have struggled with figuring out how to set boundaries for my little guy who has Down syndrome. I wonder if it is reasonable to expect someone who is delayed in several developmental areas to understand or be able to practice self-control at age 2. The doctors told us that a child with Down syndrome can learn, and indeed I have seen that in Kepler, but it is very challenging to me to have appropriate expectations for this little guy.
And then the chorus of Bless the Beasts and the Children floats through my mind, and I think, “All I want to do is give him love, and let it shine all around him.” If we surround him with love, perhaps all the rest will take care of itself. In the meantime, I look for wisdom on how to deal with him throwing his spoon and bowl at the end of every meal.
The Dark Side of Imagination by Military Momma
The other night my daughter Punka, went down (surprisingly) peacefully for her bedtime. Within an hour, she erupted in a bloodcurdling scream that sent me running for her door. I had never heard her scream like that before, so of course my mind involuntarily ran through worse case scenarios. Had she fallen out of bed and broken her arm? Was there an intruder in the house? What could possibly make her scream like that?
I reached her room to find the culprit was a wolf. Yes, a wolf. Apparently in the haze of her dimly lit room, my imaginative 2 year old had found the wolf’s eyes (which had been featured in Aesop’s Fables at Library Story Time that afternoon). I calmed her and asked her to show me the wolf, and she franticly pointed to the tiny lights on the smoke/carbon monoxide detector. I tried to soothe her fears with logic (not a toddler’s strong point), but that didn’t work. In the end, after retrieving Daddy (appropriately still dressed in cammo uniform and hunting make believe wolfs), turning on the light, and rearranging anything that might cast a shadow, she finally settle down to sleep.
The next night she saw birds in her closet – a small pile of clothes that cast a shadow. The night after that, a snake – the skinny outline of her lamp’s electrical cord. My husband and I were both baffled. We’ve never had this problem with my daughter before. You always hear about children being afraid of undescript monsters in the closet or under the bed. But that would be too easy…My daughter thinks monsters are funny. Monsters can be explained away. “Oh, monsters are just pretend. They don’t exist.”
How do you explain away a wolf? Or a bird? Or a snake? They’re all real animals she reads about or sees everyday. It’s not like I can censor them from her life like I could monsters and horror movies. Once again, I’m stumped by a two year old.
DebD, MilitaryMomma
www.DunkDesigns.com
Traveling Toddler by Military Momma
Ladies and gents, May I call your attention to the center ring as I attempt the impossible. I, Momma the Magnificient, will attempt fly alone with my toddler, and arrive at my destination sane! “Can’t be done!” You say?…
…I agree, but hey I have to keep the dream alive right? So, back to reality. Me being me, I set off to prepare for this fated trip back to the East Coast by researching and planning. We’re not new to long hauls and traveling by car for days, being an Army family, but planes are different. You can’t stop for potty breaks and the occasional “my butt’s asleep” pitstop. Add to that Mommy’s huge fear of flying, and the general chaos of going anywhere alone with a very active and antsy toddler, and it seems like an all but impossible feat.
However, I am determined to try to make the best of it. After all, at the end of that very long plane ride is HOME. Grandma. Grampa. Cousins, Aunts and Uncles. I just have to make it through 8 hours on a plane and a short layover to gain 6 full days of the comforts of home. I can do this! (Or so I tell myself.)
In order to make this trip as smooth as possible, I’ve compiled quite the Traveling Toolkit chocked full of fun little activities and, well, bribes. My secret weapon: snacks and a portable DVD player. I’ve also bought a toddler book about first plane rides, a coloring book about airplanes, and toddler sized headphones shaped like teddy bears.
I added a GoGo Kidz TravelMate (an attachment for your child’s carseat that converts it into a stroller of sorts, for an easier terminal to terminal dash!) to my arsenal, and I hope that it holds up to my expectations. Most of all I just hope beyond hope that the Tantrum Gods are good to us that day. Be sure I’ll be giving a full report of the effectiveness of my battle plan after we return. Wish me luck!
DebD, MilitaryMomma
www.DunkDesigns.com
Sadie’s Teething by Sadie’s Young Mommy
Sadie has gotten her first tooth…and it has made her very cranky so far. It is poking out more and more each day
and just the other day her Aunt Sophia found that she has another tooth coming in right next to the other one.
So Sadie is getting both her front bottom teeth all in one week! Poor Baby…
She also entered the phase of I don’t want to sit still for any bit of time… She does not like her stroller anymore
and wants to crawl all over the stores we go into. At church she just recently started going to the nursery which
she loves a lot more than I thought she would. I was all worried the first time and came to get her early and she did
not want to leave the other kids or toys. Sadie is a very social baby…she loves other toddlers and kids..she will follow them
around everywhere and look at them with those pleading eyes and laugh as if she is saying “hey lets play” in her own
little baby language. So know she plays in the nursery while we actually get sit and listen to the sermon.
It is amazing to watch how she interacts with others and how she approaches situations. She has just started to try to walk
behind this little push toy. She gets very nervous though and tries to signal to me to come help. So finally she decided
to walk on her knees to get around lol….it is pretty funny but works fine for her I guess. She also loves waving at everyone ..
at moving cars, when people leave, and just for fun she waves and blows kisses its adorable!
Her Daddy has also gotten her attached to music thats upbeat and fun. When we play her favorite song she will bounce up and down
and dance all goofy like…then when the song goes off Sadie signs more more frantically. Silly Sadie 
A Mother’s Intuition by The Down Syndrome Express
A mother’s intuition is pretty valuable. With my first four children, I learned more about listening to myself as I experienced all kinds of different situations with the kids. When my little guy was born, I had to learn anew the importance of listening to intuition, but this time, with the added complications that Down syndrome brought to the table.
When he was diagnosed with an ear infection at six months, I did what I had done for my older children, who had almost no ear infections. I treated his infection homeopathically. However, even though I had heard that children with DS have small Eustachian tubes, I didn’t really see how that might impact my choice. Well, when I went back for the re-check, the infection was not gone, and the doctor geared up to order a stronger antibiotic. I told her I had not given the antibiotic she first prescribed. She asked me why I had come to her in the first place if I wasn’t going to do what she recommended. I told her honestly that I just wanted to know if he had an ear infection. But, since my homeopathic treatment had not worked, I was completely willing to give him the antibiotic. The infection cleared up, but we did eventually go the “tubes” route as he was having trouble with fluid in his ears, and I was easily convinced that his speech and language development might be significantly impacted if he could not hear clearly. The tubes were an excellent choice, looking back and seeing how his ears have been since that time.
More recently, one of my older children got a bad cold, and although my little one fought it off for quite awhile, it wasn’t too long before he woke me up with that croupy cough. We have an arrangement whereby anytime croup crops up, we administer oral steroids and take him to the doctor the next day to make sure his breathing is ok. I chose not to take him this time, after faithfully driving him the 17 miles to the office the other 4 times he has had croup, only to be told that his breathing was fine. So now it was the weekend and he didn’t seem to be getting over it as normal. By Sunday night, I knew he needed to be seen by the doc, so I took him in on Monday morning. Turns out he had pneumonia. Even while I was second-guessing myself for not bringing him to the doctor on Friday, my gracious doctor said, “You should always trust your gut. If you had brought him in on Friday, this probably wouldn’t have even shown up.”
I don’t always make the right decisions. There have been some things I’ve missed with my kids at different times, but I’m sure there is something to be said for that certainty that comes sometimes when I am trying to decide how best to address a situation. 
One Sick Pup by Military Momma
My daughter seems determined to make sure she takes full advantage of the Army’s Tricare medical system. In the past year she’s done so by developing tonsillitis, the croup, countless ear infections, and even a few crayons up the nose. Yesterday, after fighting a fever all weekend and coughing up ungodly amounts of green goop, she went to the doctor’s again. We suspected a double ear infection and possibly sinus infection, which is now the norm for her, but scarier yet is the possibility of pneumonia.
When we arrived, her fever had peaked to 105.3, all the while on fever-reducer medication. The doctor and nurses had to wrap her in cool wet towels and put icepacks on her head and chest to get it to come down. Not fun. My poor baby screamed bloody murder for me the whole time, and I cried a little myself. It’s horrible to see your baby in pain and not be able to help.
When I was finally allowed to rescue her from her chilly cocoon, I had to turn around and hold her down for a chest xray and get the same heartbreaking plea, “Help Momma!!”. It’s a wonder the child doesn’t hate me. With Daddy being gone a lot, or unable to leave work, I am always the one having to hold her down for shots, xrays, and exams. Thankfully, I think on some level she knows I am helping and trying to make it all better. But it never gets any easier.
DebD, Military Momma
www.DunkDesigns.com
Graphic Design & VA Services
Monkey see Monkey do by Sadie’s Young Mommy
Sadie has started to copy us now..which is both cute and a little scary. She saw me goofing around
the other day and I hit my head with a macaroni box while laughing about what to do for dinner. She saw this
and has not yet stopped hitting her heads on objects and laughing about it.
Also the other day we were waving goodbye to Dustin (Daddy) as he left for school…she copied us blowing kisses
to one another so super cute!! Then she gave Daddy a big wet kiss and me too…it was one of those adorable moments. She now crawls everywhere blowing kisses at everything…it is the cutest thing.
We had a little special mommy and Sadie time the other afternoon and did each other’s hair. She learned how to brush hers…mostly hits her ear and then tries to brush mine too..we also put lil barrettes in our hair and laugh at the mirror and wave at the other baby in the mirror. It was so cute watching how quietly she sat there waiting to brush her hair our play with the clips and look at all the pretty colors. I mean of course I would never leave her alone with all those small objects but she loved being a big girl and playing with them with mommy. It was very sweet.
We went outside last week while we had a good amount of snow and made snow angels too. Sadie was laughing hysterically when I would move her arms all goofy in the snow to make the wings for her baby angel. She loved playing in the snow even if she couldn’t move in her big snowsuit very well. Ahh mommy always overdresses her. But she has not gotten a single sickness since she has been born!! thank goodness.
Sadie is napping now and I think Mommy (me) is going to copy her and take a lil nap too. Take Care
The Gift of Silence: Military Momma
I happen to have a high-spirited two year old who hardly ever sleeps through the night without a peep. She will put up a fight when you put her in the room for the night that sometimes lasts hours. Her favorite torture is the scream “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” continuously for an hour, only interrupting her chant when she breathes in. When she does fall asleep she will wake up an average of twice a night, sometimes as much as 6 times a night depending how restless she is.
She is a very light sleeper so even the wind outside her window is a potential opening for an hour long scream season in the wee hours. After such a restless night, you’d think she’d sleep in but NO! she’s up at the crack of dawn, sometimes before dawn, off and running. She’s been this way since the day she was born, and I can count on one hand the number of restful nights sleep I’ve gotten in the past 2 and a half years. It wears on you.
Enter my husband. He is great at thinking up romantic presents, or gifts that are so me but this Valentines Day he out did himself. He gave me the best gift ever: a restful nights sleep. He gave me earplugs. Not just any earplugs, the industrial grade ear plugs soldiers use while on the firing range! To anyone else, this would seem like a stupid valentines day gift. To me, it was an acknowledgment that he understood I work hard, and I’m exhausted. Best present ever!
DebD, Military Momma
www.DunkDesigns.com
Bedtime Debate by Sadie’s Young Mommy
We had this great bedtime routine down for a couple months…Sadie had a nice bath around 6:45 or earlier then books and prayer and nursing..then bedtime by 7:30pm. She at first fussed a bit about it but soon was fine with it and went to sleep. Sure she still woke up at night but she went to bed on her own.
After over a month of her deciding this wasn’t working anymore she would stay up till 10pm or later and wake up lots through out the night. She cried when we left her at nap time at anytime. We finally decided to lay down with her at nap and bedtimes…we eventually put her in the crib but it works much better both ways. Sometimes we even nap with her. Both my husband and I worried about her getting used to us all being in mommy and daddy’s bed and it does seem she prefers it. But after one day when she was too tired from not sleeping that she wouldn’t even play I decided enough was enough. We had to get her to rest somehow. So if she needs mommy or daddy to soothe her so be it.
After this decision I have received feedback of all kinds…most negative of the letting your child sleep in your bed with you. We are first time parents and are just trying to get our daughter to get some good sleep so I figured till we move in August and get a second bedroom (hopefully) that this is are only option for now. And if she needs one of us for extra comfort ..I am fine with giving it to her. She is much happier to during the daytime and plays more. She still wakes up at least three times or more at night to nurse…that is another issue that is tough to ignore. I know she is healthy and able to make it through without nursing but we live in a one bedroom apartment so she knows mommy is right there and is able to nurse her. I will love the night she sleeps through..but until then I believe the best way to get her back to sleep is nursing or rocking.
Sadie has also been signing more about her wishes and needs which is very helpful for us in understanding what she wants. Her sign for mommy so far seems to be milk…lol it is very cute how when she really wants me ..she will look right at me and sign milk as frantically as her lil hands can make it out. She has also bonded more with her daddy since I go to class two mornings a week..she has special time with Daddy. It is cute to come home to her and Dustin playing on the floor with her toys and her giggling.
She has also mastered crawling and pulling up on everything…:) uh oh
The kindness of a stranger…. by Jasa
Lately I have resigned myself to the fact that most people are tired of hearing about the war and the soldiers, they are stuck on the politics of the whole situation and have forgotten about the thousands who serve to protect us everyday without fail or reservation. But then something happened…
Tonight I went grocery shopping in a store that I frequent, but this one is in another town that I do not frequent, for some reason, tonight I just turned the other way.
Bella and I were deciding what kind of juice to buy and she was getting antsy, so I gave her my cell phone and she was fiddling with it for a while and then she asked to call my mom and then my sister. So we called my sister and they talked for a while, but Bella quit talking so I took the phone back and told Jess good-bye and kept shopping. A few minutes later Bella asked if we could call Bapa, that’s what the kids call my dad, and I told her that I did not have the phone number for his office in Iraq, so she asked where he was in Iraq and I told her that he is near where daddy was and we went on shopping.
As we turned the frozen food aisle a women walked up to us and said that she had overheard our conversation about Iraq and wanted to make sure that we told my dad and husband thank you for all they are doing. I never know quite what to say when people say this- it doesn’t happen too often- so I told her thank you and that I would tell them. She went on talking and then handed me something and said that it wasn’t much compared to what we had already sacrificed, but she and her husband wanted to do something. I again thanked her and assured her I would thank my dad and husband, at this point I am almost in tears, I always feel like I should have something more to say than Thank You. As she walked away I looked down and saw that she had handed me a gift card for the grocery store we were in. She must have known that I was on a pretty tight budget this week!! I figured that she had just saved me $10.00 and was grateful for that. When Bella and I reached the check-out, I opened the gift card and was written out for $50.00!! I wanted to run out in the parking lot and thank this woman and tell her what it means to have people really mean it when they say ” Thank your so-and-so for serving”
I don’t make a point to go around stores saying that my family is serving in Iraq in the hopes that someone with deep pockets will overhear and hand me their AmEx and say “Whatever you want” We are very proud of our friends and family who are serving all over the Middle East and I just wish that everyone would stop for a minute and realize that the soldiers are doing their job. They don’t sign up hoping to miss births, deaths, birthdays, first days, first steps, first home-runs, anniversaries, holidays or to watch their families go on without them. They sign up to feel a sense of pride, that they are doing something good, that they are helping make the world a safer, better place for all of us.
To them I say THANK YOU and I meant it. To the kind woman in the grocery store I say THANK YOU, you have restored my faith in the kindness of strangers, thank you.
Jasa
Growing Pains by Military Momma
I routinely use BabyCenter.com to find answers to my many parenting questions. I fell in love with it when I was still pregnant with my daughter, and used it almost daily as a resource. This week I looked to BabyCenter for help and guidance solving my daughter’s latest behavior issue.
Before even typing in my search request I was shaken by information on the website’s front page. I had guided my mouse to the word “Toddler” under the “Browse by Stages” heading, and was horrified by what I saw. Next to the word Toddler appeared the annotation “(12-24 mos)”. No! It isn’t true! She’s still a toddler I swear!! I simply cannot bring myself to click on the “Preschooler (2-4 yrs)” link. She’s only 27 months old she can’t be a Preschooler. I won’t allow it!
And just like that, I’m mourning the loss of my daughter’s babyhood and trying to accept the fact that she is indeed growing up. Someone tell her to stop it…
DebD, MilitaryMomma
www.DunkDesigns.com
Waiting for the other boot to drop… by Jasa
Our family has been in a somewhat constant state or worry over the last 7 months. Since the day Jake and I met, we have not been together for more than 17 months. The 17 month 1 day mark hits and Jake comes home with orders to be deployed. It seems like we get into a good rythmn and then BOOM, the other boot drops and we are disrupted again.
I have gotten used to it, or so I think. It has gotten easier for me to wave good-bye or not go into hysterics when we drop him off in front or some non-descript building near an airfield - in the middle of the night. I have watched him walk away from us more times than I care to recall, but thankfully he has returned safely to us when his time was served.
What does not get easier is the look in our childrens eyes when he walks away. As they have gotten older, the real meaning of what daddy is doing has begun to sink in. When our oldest was younger, it seemed like daddy was on vacation and would come back when he was done, and I wish I could have felt that. But as both of children have grown up with daddy gone, it has become harder to sugar-coat. Our son gets moody and our daughter gets SUPER clingy, to the point where I have to be in the same room at all times, even the bathroom. We talk about what daddy is doing and where he will be and that he has a very important job to do and that when he is done he will come home again.
So Jake has been home for just over two years now and we are just waiting for the call or the envelope in the mail and when it does come I will be prepared to take on the many additional roles that my children need me to play. We will go on as close to normal as we can and wait for the phone calls and letters and cross off the days on the calendar until the one that says “Daddy is coming home”
Have a fabulous day.
Jasa
Sadie’s a Night Owl
After a whole week and weekend of pretty much no sleep my husband and I were starting to argue over the silliest things. Sadie Lynn seems to either have really bad teething problems or is deciding to be a night owl…As her mother who thinks she couldn’t be rebelling against bedtime ( since she is such a good baby) I truly believe its teething.
We decided to get out of the house and try to get Sadie to be happier…it worked!! For the first time Sadie sat in her stroller like a big girl instead of just in the car seat. It was so cute watching her in the stroller looking around at all the different sights and sounds of the MALL!! OOo exciting..oh well its winter and the Mall is a warm and convenient place to go out to. Sadie cooed and talked while we pushed her around she also loved laying down in the recline position and drinking her juice. These cute moments wipe away all the lack of sleep and frustration. We also ran into my parents who gladly watched Sadie for a few moments while Dustin and I had a break ( I love my parents and parent n laws so much for raising us kids and also still wanting to help out with grandchildren!! got to give them credit.). We love Borders so we went there for some quit reading time.
This week seems to be getting better and she is just back to waking up 2-3 times at night instead of every half hour.
We also finally trimmed Sadie’s hair this week ..just her bangs b/c they were touching her nose! So far she has had to have two bang hair cuts…this girl has tons of hair for a baby
Also another incident that brought laughter in our house was caused by me (mommy)….
After two and half years of marriage and living on my own…I finally figured out why the koolaid mixes got so bad after I moved out. I would buy the 20cent lil package to make some punch..lemonade etc…mix it up with water
and then dump it after every time it tasted horrible…thought that the company just got worse.
Realized tonight after trying to make it again and it turned out bad again…Dustin commented about sugar!! Ahhh another Bethany moment that lasted for a long time,…I thought the sugar came in the packet and totally forgot about that. oops
We were all laughing even Sadie seemed to catch on that mommy had made a goof. She crunched up her nose and did her silly lil face that she loves making when we all laugh. We love her so much Even at 2am …
from Grandma Darcey
When our daughters moved out, it was hard at first. But now it is fun. I get along better with them since they are out of the house. My oldest one is a spitting image of me and she calls me everyday. My youngest calls me about once every few weeks or so. But of course I still worry about them. No matter whether they are married or not and what age they are. They still need mom and dad. And then the grandkids. My husband is a pushover when it comes to the grandkids. We never had a boy and our first grandchild was a boy. He pals around with grandpa all the time. It is funny to watch. You do seem to treat the grandkids different from how you raised your own kids. And then our oldest will ask her father, “Who are you?” Anyone out there know what I mean?
Thoughts on the war from Jasa
It seems that being a military wife gives you an inside political track, at least that is what everyone thinks. Over the past ten years I have been asked things like, what do they do in that big building with no windows, do you know if the war is going to end this term, and the ever present, so how do you feel about the war, the President or the media? I always warn people not to ask me about the war unless they are prepeared to receive an honest answer.
This is my standard…” I think that we are over there for reasons that we, the normal people, will never know. But because I have a long family history in the military, I support the President and most of all, out troops. My husband and my father have both spent tours in Iraq, Bosnia, Kosovo, Afghanistan, and Kuwait. I have to support our troops, because I KNOW that there is good being done. I have walls full of pictures, real pictures not printed off of a web site pictures, of children waving and giving peaces signs to passing soldiers, pictures of old women collecting brass from the shooting ranges and being helped by soldiers, pictures of my husband and his unit feeding a stray dog and cat and I have pictures of a beautiful country that has known so much violence and suffering, but of a country where schools are being built, children are getting medical care and people can feel a little bit safer because the United States is there.”
Some people might argue that there is also harm being done, but I think of it like this. When you decide to clean your closet, you have to pull out all of the junk and make a bigger mess before you can get everything in order again. So we are cleaning out all of the “junk” to make Iraq a safer place for it’s people to live and hopefully, in the end we will have helped make it a place where people want to go instead of the place our husbands and wives HAVE to go.
Have a blessed day and remember to thank a soldier.
Jasa
The Nutritional Value of Plaster by Military Momma
My daughter, “Punka”, has a lot of behavioral problems that are not uncommon for children her age, such as being a picky eater, throwing tantrums, refusing to sleep, insisting on being naked, etc. She seems to take the phrase “Terrible Twos” as a challenge, and is determined to find the weirdest, most frustrating ways to test our parenting skills.
At this point she’s winning. It seems every time I make progress with Punka, her daddy goes to the field or participates in some other Army related event that takes him away for long periods of time, disrupting her schedule and setting off a chain reaction of bad behavior.
Her newest tactic in the quest to drive mommy insane is to gnaw the paint and plaster off the corner of her closet. Thankfully our house is less than 10 years old, so I know she’s not consuming lead paint. Just the same, this can’t be good for her. The frustrating part is that I don’t know how to prevent it.
It always occurs when she’s supposed to be napping, and so we don’t discover it until it’s already happened. I have no clue how to stop her. I’ve wondered if there were some sort of bumper to place on the corners, but that makes me think it would just make it appear more like a teething toy and an invitation to chew. I wonder what a liquid thumb-sucking deterrent would do to the paint? There’s got to be some sort of solution.
I tried to research it online, and hidden in between articles about how to get your puppy to stop chewing on your furniture, I found a few articles that suggested some toddlers may partake in this unusual behavior of eating non-food items when their nutritional needs are not being met. Very plausible considering my daughter’s recent refusal to eat anything that isn’t in hot dog form slathered in ketchup. What am I going to do with this kid? I wonder if there is any nutritional value to plaster…?
The Down Syndrome Express– Intro
My friend, Erica, invited me to write something about my life as a mother of five, for her blog at the Baby Boutique. She asked for something that other moms might relate to, or might identify with.
We have five children. We had four for quite awhile, nearly six years, before our little buddy was on the way. I was so nervous about being pregnant at my advanced age of 43. I wasn’t worried about anything in particular, just the whole idea of giving birth again, even though I had had four wonderful births with the older children. I think my biggest fear was that I would have an even bigger baby this time. Our daughter, our fourth child, was 11 pounds, 7 ounces. I couldn’t imagine giving birth to a bigger baby than 11 ½ pounds!
My due date was January 9. I was hoping for December 31 since that is my husband’s birthday and I thought that would be fun, to have two birthdays on the same day. I also secretly felt that if the baby was born before the beginning of the new year, everything was going to be all right with him and the birth.
During my pregnancy, my baby had had the hiccups every single day and the baby’s movements had been so much more noticeable than in earlier pregnancies. I noticed the difference but did not worry that they meant any particular thing.
I wanted a water birth with this baby because my two sisters had had their babies this way when I was about six months through this pregnancy. Their stories were so wonderful that I decided to pursue this option for birth. The local hospitals offered laboring tubs but explicitly stated that giving birth in the water was prohibited. My doctor was of the “ask forgiveness, not permission” mentality, but I knew I would be very uncomfortable if there were nurses tapping their croc-shod toes at me. Eventually, I decided I wasn’t going to give birth in the hospital and met my lay midwife less than one month before I was to give birth.
My husband and I felt an immediate connection with our midwife and moved forward confidently with this plan.
On New Years Eve, clearly the baby was not going to be arriving before the end of the year. We spent our evening with our little family, looking back at the year previous and looking ahead to what was coming in the new year. We watched a DVD by John Eldredge which taught that Jesus is the hero of the story and we are part of his story. Midnight came and went and I tried to tell myself that my little superstition had nothing to do with reality.
One week early, January 2, I spent six hours laboring and giving birth to our little guy, our smallest baby by far at 8 lb 12 oz. I have thanked God many times for the wonderful labor and birth I enjoyed. Thanked him for the fact that our children got to meet the baby and hold him minutes after he was born. It all came together eventually as an amazing example of the grace and providence of God, but . . . pretty much as soon as I had the chance to hold the baby, I could see that he looked like he had Down syndrome. At that point, I knew nothing about Down syndrome, and was pretty sure that I would not be a good mother to a child with special needs. I knew nothing, and I didn’t see myself as particularly compassionate or filled with whatever genes all “those” other mothers had who mothered special children so well.
We spent the first night at home, but needed to visit the pediatrician the next day due to the fact that the baby’s color was indicative of not enough oxygen in his blood. Directly from the pediatrician’s office, we traveled by ambulance to the hospital where we spent the next seven days in the NICU. It was during this time that the diagnosis of Down syndrome was confirmed through a chromosomal test.
What a hard time that was, as we were separated from our other children, dealing with recovering from childbirth, dealing with our own emotions, and learning everything we could about Down syndrome. But who could ask for better doctors or nurses? Who could imagine the level of care we received from the hospital? Who could ask for more than my mother, sisters, and brother-in-law gave to help out with the kids? How could we have imagined what kindness would be poured out to us from friends from church, and friends and acquaintances from the previous summer’s swim team? In short, truly it was Amazing Grace.
I have an indelible memory of gazing at my brand new baby as he lay in my arms and knowing almost instinctively that he had been born with Down syndrome even though I had no conscious understanding of how I knew this to be true.
But the overarching memory of that time was that Amazing Grace. The music that was playing when the baby was born was the CD Dwell. The words stick with me:
Dwell in the midst of us
Come and dwell in this placeDwell in the midst of usCome and have your way.Dwell in the midst of us
Wipe all the tears from our faces
Dwell in the midst of us
You can have your way.
Not our will, but yours be done
Come and change us
Not our will, but yours be done,
Come sustain us.
And he has changed us. And he always sustains us. And our little boy is an incredible blessing that we could not have imagined. There are still days when my mind does the math and remembers how old we will be when our little guy is a grown man, but we believe that God will be with us and with him every day of his life. Oh, and if you ask my son, I’m pretty sure he’d categorize me as quite a good mom to him. Amazing Grace.
Sadie’s Birth Story
My daughter Sadie Lynn was due on May 26, 2007 which was my father’s birthday and also the day that my husband purposed to me so that day was pretty significant to us. As it got closer to the due date I was nervous about making sure we were all prepared for her big arrival. We both finished our school finals and due to low blood pressure making me black out all the time I was pretty much stuck at home through out my pregnancy unless my husband Dustin took me out somewhere. Dustin planned to take a motorcycle safety course two days before her due date which I was all nervous we would spend the money on it and then he would have to miss it because I went into labor.
On Thursday May 24, 2007 Dustin had just finished his safety course and was with me until work that night from 5-1 am….and I really wanted to clean the apartment, do laundry, and go grocery shopping. I had this sudden feeling that everything needed to be done. So we did laundry went shopping and did some cleaning. At this point I was very sick of people touching my belly and calling to see if she had been born yet. So while Dustin went to work I invited my friend to come over and hang out for a couple hours. We watched a movie and I started to feel very uncomfortable and sick…I just kept ignoring it though because I thought it was just nerves or some stomach bug. So she left and then Dustin came home on break and I told him I thought I might be having contractions…he said to walk around and take a bath and see how I felt afterward. We had already had one false alarm a month ago so we weren’t too sure this was the real thing. I took a bath thinking that would help but it didn’t so I called him around 12:30 and he came home. We called the obgyn and the midwife asked how far apart the contractions where. AT this point they were every 5-6 minutes on the dot and pretty campy. Since I had tested positive for Group Strep B she said to come in to the hospital since I would need medicine soon.
With excitement building we packed up and headed out to the car at 1:45am and driving over to the hospital was a exciting and also painful trip since my contractions kept coming every 5 minutes and the bumpy roads did not help. When we got there the nurse checked me and said I was around 2 to 3cm…Yeah!!! I was so nervous they were going to send me home…this was the real thing now! They gave me the medicine through the IV for 20 minutes and monitored the baby for awhile then let me get out of bed which felt great. I did not like laying in bed while in labor. We tried the tub for awhile…but after awhile I got too hot and dizzy and got out. We were both exhausted and it was 2am when we got to the hospital so there was no sleep in the near future. I tried walking a bit but then decided to try a shower which felt nice….around 4am the contractions got closer and we were delighted to hear that after a couple more hours I had dilated to 4cm. I did not like when the doctor did the exams because my cervix was hard for them to find so it hurt a lot and every time I got a contraction I wanted to be left alone.
Then the nurse suggested this big ball to squat on and that was the best idea ever! Dustin rubbed my back and I swayed back and forth on the ball every time a contraction hit…by 7am the pain was getting worse and I was very tired…I started to lose it but then this nurse who was the best nurse I ever met..came in and calmed me down and stayed with me for a long time helping me concentrate on just getting through the contraction. Around 9:30am I was 6cm and was unable to deal with the pain anymore…I was disappointed in myself but the pain just became to much and felt like my hips where being torn apart every time a contraction hit. I also was tried and so was Dustin so I decided to get a epidural which was so great. After waiting forever I finally got the epidural around 11am and was able to rest. I did not like how my legs went numb and I still felt faint contractions for awhile and the numbness switched in legs. I also had to have a catheter which was unpleasant.
Around 1:30 I felt different and pressure in my butt and asked the nurse to call the doctor..she checked me and found I was almost 10cm…I had to wait for the last lil bit to dilate which seemed like forever. They turned the epidural off and it was pushing time. Around 2:45pm they let me start pushing which was exciting and both hard work. I knew we were closer to seeing our beautiful baby but it still was painful and scary. The thing that kept me going was the encouraging nurses and my husband encouraging me and looking so happy. He was watching and the smile on his face was priceless. Anytime I felt like giving up I saw him looking so happy and saying “sweety she is almost here”…that helped me a lot. I was not so good at pushing at first…I just wanted it over with so I pushed anytime I could, but then they instructed me to push only when a contraction came. After an hour the doctor was thinking of giving me a little bit of pitocin to push things along…I did not want this though and I am glad I did not end up needing it. I started pushing with all my might and got the hang of it…even after nineteen hours of labor I somehow found energy to push her out. As the baby started to crown they let me touch her hair which was a great experience and when Sadie Lynn finally entered the world I was both in shock and amazement that this was my baby that was in my belly for nine months and she was on me skin to skin. It was the best moment and I will never forget looking into her bright blue eyes and getting to hold her for the first time.
Dustin cut the cord and she was weighed…8lbs and 2 oz!! Big girl she also was 19 ½ inches long and had tons of hair! She still has tons of dark brown hair and green/blue eyes. My recovery was slow…nobody warned me how much it hurts afterward! But after about a month I felt more like myself and breastfeeding was going great and still is!
I am very happy with the overall care and treatment we received at the hospital..the nurses followed our birth plan and respected our space and wishes. And Sadie Lynn is a healthy, energetic, and happy 7 ¾ month old!! She is our joy and I still find myself just amazed at this lil miracle God blessed us with.
Grandma Darcey–Intro
I am a native of Arizona. My husband and I grew up in the same neighborhood but didn’t like each other until later we were 18. Been married to him for 22 years now. Still live in the same neighborhood we grew up in. We have two girls, 24 and 20. They have moved out now so we are empty nesters. And now we have three wonderful grandchildren. So we are busy to say the least.Well, raising our girls was one thing. But being a grandparent is something else. You know, you hope you are doing the right thing with your kids. Teach them right from wrong, don’t do this, don’t do that. No you can’t have a cell phone, or a boyfriend until you are 18. Just get through school first. Then you have your oldest tell you that she is never having kids and never getting married. Because how can you stay with one man for all those years. And she is the one that said to us, I am engaged. And I said really. Never getting married, huh. She said yeah well. Now she has three children and I was able to be in the delivery room with all three. I even got to cut my grandson’s umbilical (not sure if I spelled that one right) cord because my son-in-law really didn’t want to. But he did cut the other two granddaughters umbilical cords when they were born. And now being a grandparent is great. More coming later.
Darcey Shumaker
Avon Independent Sales Rep
Jasa’s Intro
I am delighted to be writing a blog on my adventures as an ARMY wife and mom to two BRATS. Though it has been hard and we have spent more time apart than together, I wouldn’t trade my ARMY man for anything.
I got married VERY young, right out of high school, to my favorite soldier. We have been married for almost 10 years, but we joke that it has only been 5 since he has been gone so much.
Being married to military man, or woman, is no walk in the park. You learn to rely on yourself and make friends with those who are in the same boat. Not knowing if your spouse will be home at the end of the day can be quite unnerving and it has happened to us. Don’t blame your soldier, they are doing the job they signed up for and that is something you should be proud of.
Having children and being married in the military is whole other ball of wax. You get to be the mother, father, nurse, teacher, doctor and maid all in the same day, sometimes for months at a time.
I hope that in writing this blog I can help some one who may need support or make another military wife say “ok, so I am not the only who is going through this” You have a huge network of wives and husbands out there going through the same thing. So welcome to my Blog and enjoy the fun and tears and know that you are not alone.
Jasa
Military Momma: Welcome to Chaos
My goal here is to give readers of the BB@WW Blog a new perspective on the struggles and joys of being the wife of a soldier and the mother of an Army Brat. Army wives have been known as the “Silent Ranks” and until recent years, the civilian world gave us little thought. Now with the media saturated with images and stories of war and military, we’ve begun to receive due recognition. The trouble is, the media often stereotypes us and misleads the public on what our life is really like. With this blog I hope to educate everyone about my personal reality of being a military wife and family.
That said, let me introduce myself. My name is Deb. I am 25 and have been an Army wife for close to 5 years now. We are currently stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas with my Staff Sergeant husband, our 2 year old daughter “Punka”, and mutt dog named Bubba. My husband has been deployed twice to Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom, and recently spent a year unaccompanied tour in Korea. Last Spring when he returned from Korea, we relocated to Fort Bliss and I became a work at home mom. I am a graphic designer by trade, but a stay at home mom by choice. I freelance from home and also have a side job crafting.
While you may not be able to relate to all the situations I write about, my day to day life is full of happiness, stress, struggle and strife just like any other mom. Mine just happens to be a different breed of chaos.
Enjoy!
DebD, MilitaryMomma
www.DunkDesigns.com
Moomettesgram’s Musings: Hi & Welcome from CT!
My name is Cindi, and I’m a Baby-Boomer wife and mom of 2 grown daughters. I’m excited to have been asked by Erica to write for her blog! Oldest DD is out of college, married, and has blessed me with my first grandchild, Madison, who’s 15 months old (affectionately known as ‘Lil Moomette’.) Both she & Hubby met in college and are expecting their second child in August . My youngest DD is a Junior in college.
I’m a native of New England, and live in an historic small town in Connecticut. I call myself a ‘Baby Boomer Grandma – which to me, means I’m unlike my own Nana, who was born in 1901 and lived to be over 100. She always appreciated fine things and shared her knowledge with me. I inherited many of her items. After being employed in the business community for many years as a Paralegal, I’m looking forward to being a Work-at-Home Grandma and opened an eBay store! My store is eclectic and focuses on New & EUC upscale clothing, Vintage Collectibles & more, and I’m also an independent consultant for Affordable Mineral Makeup.
I’ll try to keep everyone updated with the joys of being a Grandma, and how it’s changed my relationship with my daughters. While we were always close, ‘Lil Moomette has definitely become a source of added joy, excitement & chaos to my years! So much to write about…until next time!
Cindi Matthews is the author of Moomettesgram’s Musings, as well as owner of Moomette’s*Magnificents on eBay. She also is an indpendent consultant for Affordable Mineral Makeup at Moomettes Mineral Makeup
Sadie’s Young Mommy–Intro
My name is Bethany and I have been married for over two and a half years now and also my husband Dustin and I have a beautiful baby girl named Sadie Lynn who is 7 ½ months. Dustin graduates from college this spring and I am working on my degree also…so juggling motherhood, wife hood, school, and other family and friend activities is quite crazy, but fun. My daughter Sadie was born on May 25, 2007 one day before her due date which was going to be on her Grandpa’s birthday..I guess she decided she wanted her own day for her birthday.
Now that she is 7 ½ months old I am just amazed at how much she has grown in such a little span of time. In one week she figured out crawling, pulling up to a stand, and sitting up after falling down. She learns something new everyday good and bad!! Like this week she thinks nap time consists of standing up in her crib and yelling Da! Da! Da!! over and over again…till mommy breaks down and goes in to check on her. She also has decided to move her bedtime to 9 or 10 clock instead of her 7:30 bedtime routine we had down so perfectly for months. I guess this all comes with the changes she is making, but it is very hard to adapt to such a sudden difference in our baby. She also has decided mommy is the only person who can feed, bath, cloth, and or do anything with her.
Sadie Lynn does bring a lot of challenges, but she is overall a very content and happy baby and I am overfilled with love for her. Being a young mom has its own sets of stereotypes also. I get a lot of grief about it from strangers in stores or some classmate joking around. It is tough being a mom at any age I think and I know I have the maturity, knowledge, and love to care for my daughter no matter what age I might be. I got married at eighteen to Dustin and I now have my daughter Sadie at age 20. I enjoy being a wife and a mother so much…it is filled with huge rewards. My Aunt Erica asked me if I wanted to write some lil bits here and there about my life as a young mommy, I am enjoying being a mom and I like to think of myself not as just a young mommy, but also Sadie’s mommy
Sadie’s Young Mommy
An exciting new development!
One of my goals for 2008 is to get the baby boutique blog bigger and better than ever. My first project is to bring you some new bloggers here that you will love to follow along in their lives as moms (and grandmothers, too!). We’ll have young mommies, military moms, even my own niece!, and lots of other fabulous women for you to get to know. So check back often so that you don’t miss a thing!
Would you like to do some blogging here at the baby boutique? Just send me an email at erica (at) TheBabyBoutiqueAtWombsWindow.com and let me know.
