My daughter Sadie Lynn was due on May 26, 2007 which was my father’s birthday and also the day that my husband purposed to me so that day was pretty significant to us. As it got closer to the due date I was nervous about making sure we were all prepared for her big arrival. We both finished our school finals and due to low blood pressure making me black out all the time I was pretty much stuck at home through out my pregnancy unless my husband Dustin took me out somewhere. Dustin planned to take a motorcycle safety course two days before her due date which I was all nervous we would spend the money on it and then he would have to miss it because I went into labor.

On Thursday May 24, 2007 Dustin had just finished his safety course and was with me until work that night from 5-1 am….and I really wanted to clean the apartment, do laundry, and go grocery shopping. I had this sudden feeling that everything needed to be done. So we did laundry went shopping and did some cleaning. At this point I was very sick of people touching my belly and calling to see if she had been born yet. So while Dustin went to work I invited my friend to come over and hang out for a couple hours. We watched a movie and I started to feel very uncomfortable and sick…I just kept ignoring it though because I thought it was just nerves or some stomach bug. So she left and then Dustin came home on break and I told him I thought I might be having contractions…he said to walk around and take a bath and see how I felt afterward. We had already had one false alarm a month ago so we weren’t too sure this was the real thing. I took a bath thinking that would help but it didn’t so I called him around 12:30 and he came home. We called the obgyn and the midwife asked how far apart the contractions where. AT this point they were every 5-6 minutes on the dot and pretty campy. Since I had tested positive for Group Strep B she said to come in to the hospital since I would need medicine soon.

With excitement building we packed up and headed out to the car at 1:45am and driving over to the hospital was a exciting and also painful trip since my contractions kept coming every 5 minutes and the bumpy roads did not help. When we got there the nurse checked me and said I was around 2 to 3cm…Yeah!!! I was so nervous they were going to send me home…this was the real thing now! They gave me the medicine through the IV for 20 minutes and monitored the baby for awhile then let me get out of bed which felt great. I did not like laying in bed while in labor. We tried the tub for awhile…but after awhile I got too hot and dizzy and got out. We were both exhausted and it was 2am when we got to the hospital so there was no sleep in the near future. I tried walking a bit but then decided to try a shower which felt nice….around 4am the contractions got closer and we were delighted to hear that after a couple more hours I had dilated to 4cm. I did not like when the doctor did the exams because my cervix was hard for them to find so it hurt a lot and every time I got a contraction I wanted to be left alone.

Then the nurse suggested this big ball to squat on and that was the best idea ever! Dustin rubbed my back and I swayed back and forth on the ball every time a contraction hit…by 7am the pain was getting worse and I was very tired…I started to lose it but then this nurse who was the best nurse I ever met..came in and calmed me down and stayed with me for a long time helping me concentrate on just getting through the contraction. Around 9:30am I was 6cm and was unable to deal with the pain anymore…I was disappointed in myself but the pain just became to much and felt like my hips where being torn apart every time a contraction hit. I also was tried and so was Dustin so I decided to get a epidural which was so great. After waiting forever I finally got the epidural around 11am and was able to rest. I did not like how my legs went numb and I still felt faint contractions for awhile and the numbness switched in legs. I also had to have a catheter which was unpleasant.

Around 1:30 I felt different and pressure in my butt and asked the nurse to call the doctor..she checked me and found I was almost 10cm…I had to wait for the last lil bit to dilate which seemed like forever. They turned the epidural off and it was pushing time. Around 2:45pm they let me start pushing which was exciting and both hard work. I knew we were closer to seeing our beautiful baby but it still was painful and scary. The thing that kept me going was the encouraging nurses and my husband encouraging me and looking so happy. He was watching and the smile on his face was priceless. Anytime I felt like giving up I saw him looking so happy and saying “sweety she is almost here”…that helped me a lot. I was not so good at pushing at first…I just wanted it over with so I pushed anytime I could, but then they instructed me to push only when a contraction came. After an hour the doctor was thinking of giving me a little bit of pitocin to push things along…I did not want this though and I am glad I did not end up needing it. I started pushing with all my might and got the hang of it…even after nineteen hours of labor I somehow found energy to push her out. As the baby started to crown they let me touch her hair which was a great experience and when Sadie Lynn finally entered the world I was both in shock and amazement that this was my baby that was in my belly for nine months and she was on me skin to skin. It was the best moment and I will never forget looking into her bright blue eyes and getting to hold her for the first time.

Dustin cut the cord and she was weighed…8lbs and 2 oz!! Big girl she also was 19 ½ inches long and had tons of hair! She still has tons of dark brown hair and green/blue eyes. My recovery was slow…nobody warned me how much it hurts afterward! But after about a month I felt more like myself and breastfeeding was going great and still is!

I am very happy with the overall care and treatment we received at the hospital..the nurses followed our birth plan and respected our space and wishes. And Sadie Lynn is a healthy, energetic, and happy 7 ¾ month old!! She is our joy and I still find myself just amazed at this lil miracle God blessed us with.

Today I rec’d an email from Elena Tonetti, creator of the Birth As We Know It DVD, letting me know about her “birthshops” schedule for this year and next.  I thought some of you might be interested in knowing the locations and dates for this.  Contact information (and for details about what a ‘birthshop’ is) is at the bottom of this post.

January 25, 2008- Palo Alto, CA
“BAWKI” Screening at the “Blossom”
Mendy, elementsofmagic@gmail.comFebruary 23-24, 2008- Sebastopol, CA
“BIB” Birthshop, $350 single, $650 couples

March 4, 2008- San Francisco, CA @6:30pm
“BAWKI” Screening at The Natural Birth
Institute- http://www.naturalbirthinstitute.com

Earth at birthsage@wildmail.com or 510-410-5640

March 21-23, 2008- Los Angeles
Raw Lifestyle Film Festival
http://www.serenityspaces.org

March 25, 2009- Los Angeles
“BAWKI” Screening

March 26-27, 2008- Los Angeles- $350
“BIB” Birthshop
Featuring Raw Chef Dorit of Serenity Spaces
Sheila, 562-843-1999

March 29, 2008- San Francisco, CA
One Day “BIB” Workshop http://www.naturalbirthinstitute.com
Earth at birthsage@wildmail.com or 510-410-5640

April 6-12, 2008- Hawaii
“BIB” Birthshop Level I & II-$1800
Including lodging, gourmet meals, swimming w/whales,
template ritual, and Jin-Shin Jitsu, etc.
A week long intensive!

April 18, 2008- Palo Alto, CA
“BAWKI” Screening- $10
Mendy, elementsofmagic@gmail.com

April 19-20, 2008- Palo Alto, CA
“BIB” Birthshop- $350
Mendy, elementsofmagic@gmail.com

May 3-4, 2008-Chico, CA
“BIB” Birthshop- $350

May 16-18, 2008
Conference of California Midwifery Alliance- Sebastopol, CA

May, 2008- New York, NY
BIB Birthshop
Level 1: May 21-22, $450
Level 2: May 23-24 $500

June 2008- South Africa!
Johannesburg Conference- May 28-29
Johannesburg- BIB- May 31-June 1
Cape Town Conference- June 5-6
Cape Town- BIB- June 7-8

June 20-22, 2008- Singapore

June 27-29, 2008- New Zealand

September 12-14, 2008- Arizona
Raw Lifestyle Film Festival
Dorit, ddorit5@sbcglobal.net

September-October, 2008- Poland
Three “BIB” Birthshops:
September 27-28, October 1-2, October 4-5
Marek, mkotas@gmail.com

October 10-12, 2008- UK
Birth Into Being Birthshop
Anna, stampedebreakfast@mac.com

2009April 9-12, 2009- Elena’s Conference in CA, Featuring Russian Midwives:
Tatiana Sargunas and Svetlana Akimova, Amber Hartnell, plus a brilliant team of presenters.

To register for all Birthshops, please contact Crystal: crystal@birthintobeing.com or call 530-566-0199.
For local information such as lodging or directions, please contact the local organizer.

You Have Control Over Your Birth Experience by Rayven Perkins

I have given birth to four children, in three different states. Each hospital had different policies and procedures, and each birth experience was unique.

My last delivery, just a few months ago, was to boy/girl twins.

I started my pregnancy with a new-to-me doctor I disliked, who was ready to schedule a cesarean in my first trimester. About halfway through the pregnancy, we moved, and I found an absolutely wonderful doctor. I expressed to him my desire to do everything humanly possible to deliver these twins vaginally. I had never had a c-section before, and really didn’t want to have one.

He respected my decision, and agreed to only mention a c-section if an emergency situation occurred.

At the start of my third trimester, I had the opportunity to tour the hospital I was to deliver in. While on the tour, I asked if twin deliveries were required to be in the operating room, which is standard in most hospitals, and the touring nurse said to me, “How else would you have a c-section?” She seemed shocked that I would even consider giving birth to twins in any other way.

On the delivery day, I was able to labor in a birthing room and was transferred to the OR for the delivery only.

I had a normal labor, and they finally wheeled me into the OR. There were about six medical personnel in the room, busy preparing for the delivery and awaiting the doctor. I was concerned that the first baby was on his way out, and kept saying to the nurses “I think the baby is coming”, but for the most part, they ignored me. I said this maybe five times. Finally, one nurse told me not to worry, that they would catch him should he decide to make an appearance.

Amidst all this activity, I suddenly had a thought, and announced, “Oh, by the way, under no circumstances whatsoever do I want an episiotomy.”

Immediately, the six people in the room froze, and dropped everything they were working on to turn and look at me. So I repeated myself. They looked at me as though I was growing horns out of my head. Finally one nurse told me that she would make sure that the doctor knew.

The delivery went well. The second twin decided to turn breech at the last moment, but my doctor, respecting my decision to do everything possible to avoid a c-section was able to manually turn her. I avoided the episiotomy as well, which proved to be completely unnecessary.

The next morning, as I was walking around trying to regain my strength, I saw several other new mothers sitting on ice packs, moaning and groaning. They had not realized the episiotomy was a choice.

All the nurses who cared for me after the delivery treated me oddly. It was as though I were some sort of celebrity. Finally, one nurse spilled the beans. It seemed that I was the first mother to deliver twins vaginally in that hospital in over ten years.

Ten years.

It amazes me how much hospitals and doctors take certain situations for granted. No vaginal twin deliveries in a decade? How many of those mothers were lead to believe their bodies wouldn’t do what came naturally to them? How many of them had unnecessary surgeries, higher risk of infections, and major recover for nothing?

You have a lot more control over the birth of your child in a hospital setting than you are aware of.

–An episiotomy is optional, but if you do not speak up and vocalize your desire not to have one, it may happen to you.

–A c-section is optional in some cases. There are circumstances where it is necessary, but many are done for convenience when other options are available.

–Pain medications and even IVs are optional. If you chose not to have any pain medications, then you do not need to be hooked up to an IV at all.

–Lying flat on your back in a bed is optional. If you do not have an epidural, you do not need to remain in bed through labor and delivery. Feel free to move about, take a shower, and try different labor positions that you would like to get more comfortable.

The birth of your baby should be a happy experience. It should not be one of fear and disappointment. Simply talk with your doctor and hospital staff about your desires. Do this early in the pregnancy. If it seems like your doctor does not take your concerns seriously, find a new doctor.

—

Rayven Perkins is an expert at saving money at home. She has spent 7 years finding and implementing unique cost-cutting tips that allow her family to live comfortably as a one-income family. Her site http://www.stay-a-stay-at-home-mom.com examines resources and tips on Reducing Expenses, Stretching Your Dollar, and Supplementing Income in order to stay a SAHM

Many thanks to Christina Mroz of Complete Motions. Christina is a Wellness and Life Coach, and offers Holy Yoga and Pilates Instruction. You can check out her web site here.

When I became pregnant, I knew I wanted to have this child as naturally as possible. Prior to my birth experience, only one other person in my family had ever tried a natural birth and unfortunately, that birth ended in a caesarian. However, I still wanted to see how my body would handle birth without intervention. As a yoga and Pilates instructor, I felt very prepared physically for this birth.

As my due date grew closer, my patience grew less. It seemed that everyone was either calling or asking if we had had our baby yet. I knew that our baby would be born when it was ready, but a large part of me just wanted the baby here NOW. I finally convinced my husband (Michael) to try intercourse to induce labor. Well, it worked. I heard a pop. At first, I was not sure what it was but as I proceeded to the bathroom water started to leak out. Since this was my first pregnancy, I was not sure what was happening. After awhile in the bathroom Michael asked if everything was ok—I responded by telling him I think my water broke. The television portrays a women’s water breaking in one huge gush—that was not true for me at all. It was more like little trickles that occurred every once in awhile.

As the reality sunk it, I called my midwife. This was about 10pm. At this point, I was not having any contractions; she said to notify her when contractions started. About a half hour later, I was having 30-second contractions about 5 minutes apart. This was when we got a little nervous, mostly because we lived an hour away from the birth center. Our plan was to go to my brother’s house (who lived a mile from the birth center) when active labor started. Again, we called my midwife; she did not see an immediate need to head to my brother’s but told us to do what felt comfortable. At 11pm, we left for his house. We arrived there an hour later, he was trying to sleep but his girlfriend was anxiously waiting for us. I am so glad we left when we did because having contractions in the car is not much fun.

Once at my brother’s house my contractions started to change. They grew stronger and longer. I did not want to wake my brother’s roommates or scare my brother’s girlfriend half to death so when a contraction started I went into the hallway. During each contraction, my back just hurt, so Michael would gently rub my back. After another hour, my contractions were close to 1 minute in length and about 2 minutes apart. Michael called my midwife and we decided to meet at the birth center in a half hour. At his point my brother had awaken—or did I wake him (not sure).

Right before I was suppose to leave for the birth center, I threw up all over his bed and my clothes. I then had to borrow clothes from his girlfriend (note to self: next time bring extra clothes and have a bucket near by). As we left, I felt bad for throwing up and thought I had ruined any chance that my brother’s girlfriend would want to have children.

When we reached the birth center, my midwife checked my cervix and dilatation. To both my husband’s surprise and mine, she said I was fully dilated and my cervix was gone. What! I was hoping she said I was at least 6 centimeters. I decided it would be nice to get in a warm tub to ease my back pain. The tub was a little bit of heaven. As the baby dropped, my pain increased, especially in my back so during each contraction someone continued to rub my back. During this time, I was pretty much in a daze. I remember little things like soft music playing, my midwife calmly waiting in the chair next to me, Michael calling our family to tell them to starting driving to the birth center, and Michael reporting that a deer was eating the flowers out in the flower garden. This was so odd because the birth center is in the middle of town. At one point, I remember seeing a small fishing net that you use in a fish tank and I said, “Are you going fishing?” I had no idea what it was for—well I soon found out. It was to clean out the water in the tub—yes, stuff does come out when you push. Did I care, not really—by this point, I was too focused on pushing this baby out than to worry about anything else.

During the “dropping” phase I became very impatient—it felt like it was taking forever and plus it hurt. At different points during this phase, Michael would walk in and out of the room—I thought it must be hard for him to see me like this. After about 1 ½ hours a head started to appear, along with some blood. As I continued to push, the head continued to stay out but the rest did not come. After a couple of minutes, my midwife said in a very direct voice, “We need to get mom out of the tub NOW!” Yikes. Prior to this, she was so calm and relaxed so I knew she was not kidding but I could not imagine getting out of the tub now. Well, both of my midwives grabbed my arms and helped me out. I then knelt on all fours. She then wanted me to step one leg forward into a lung—I even commented to her “Are you kidding?” Again, they helped me move my leg up. As soon as I did that, the baby just slide out. They quickly wrapped the baby up. Immediately I asked is it a boy or girl—they did not even look. Therefore, I unwrapped this little bundle with blood and other fluids all over it to discover that we had a girl. Hannah Johanna Christina Mroz was born at 3:55am. Then they gave me a stool to squat on and handed me our new baby. Michael got the honor of cutting the cord. Almost instantly, Hannah latched on. About 25 minutes later, I delivered the placenta—what a breeze. I then moved into the bed to relax and bond with my new baby girl and Michael.

For the next hour, they monitored Hannah and me. My family also arrived to see this new addition to our family. Before leaving the birth center Hannah was weighed, measured, and her feet were stamped. I need to go to the bathroom, which was difficult because it stung. My midwife also checked my perineum and discovered that I had torn a little. She then numbed my perineum and sewed it back up.

Right before we were leaving, they asked if I wanted to see the placenta. As they brought it out my family and husband gathered around. We were all very amazed by the role this organ plays in birth—truly a miracle.

At about 8am, Mike, Hannah, my mom, and I left for our house. My family could not believe I was going home so soon and even tried to talk me into staying longer. Less than 12 hours later Mike and I were back home with our new baby girl—what a neat experience!

On September 26th 1999, we celebrated my husband’s birthday, a day early. I was not due with our first until October 24. My brother called to say hi. I recalled saying to him…. It’ll be soon. He said ya they all say that!

We went out for a quiet evening on September 28th. Around 1 am September 29th, I felt like my water broke. But nothing was going on and I didn’t want to go to the hospital too soon. So I waited until I was sure and that something was going on. About 3:30am I woke Mark up. He rolled over and said “ ya right” . Then sat bolt upright in bed and said really??? … okay I’m up.

I had everything ready to go. We went to the hospital. They didn’t believe that I was in labor. I was at 4 cm and 80% effaced. Until I threw up all over the nurse that was checking me in… she realized very quickly that I was in transition. They admitted me. I sat in the whirlpool for about an hour or so. Then insisted I had to get up and go to the bathroom. The Nurse checked me and discovered I was fully dilated and baby was descending. He was comingJ

So they did all they do, I was a first time mom. I let them lead me too much. The Dr was attempting to cut me to ease the baby’s arrival. Mark about decked to DR J insisting that his wife did not want thatJ GO MARK!

At 7:11 Wednesday September 29, 1999after about 20 minutes of pushing…. Lucas Graham Visscher was born. He weighed 7# and 4 ounces. He was 20 inches long. He was fine for a bit and then they felt he had a breathing issue. Since he came so quickly he had what they called “wet lung” and was in what we called his cage…. For a few days. On that Saturday we were able to take our first born son home. My parents drove from Pennsylvania to Michigan to see their daughter’s firstborn child. Mark’s parents were in the same town and were very shocked When Mark called Wednesday morning to say we had a baby! It was very tense for a few days there but things did smooth out and our son is now over 7 years old, lost a tooth, but more importantly than any academic or physical change… he has accepted Jesus into his life and we can see he has a tender heart towards things of God.

Before we knew it we were excited to discover we were going to be parents of 2 J that story is yet to come… and so are a few more:)

Kathleen

Many thanks to Awnya, who was kind enough to share the story of the birth of her little boy. He’s just a couple of years old! You can visit Awnya’s felt business here. They have great stuff!

The contractions started at about 3am. These were serious contractions, but a few times before I would be having some pretty good ones and they would just fizzle out after about 3 hours, so I went out to the couch to wait. After about an hour and a half of TV and nothing changing, I decided to take a warm bath. Sitting in the tub was really nice and very soothing…but the contractions started to come a little harder. I decided it was time to go to the hospital.

Without bothering to get dressed, I woke up my husband and let him know it was time. We quickly dressed and scooped up our 2 kids. My husband took them to the neighbors house and I pulled the car around. Let me say, it was not easy to drive and have a contraction! We got to the hospital and the receptionist didn’t believe I was in labor because between contractions I was still able to laugh and be fairly pleasant! When she saw me have a contraction, her eyes got really big and she shouted “We have a live one here” to the other nurses….I was then ushered to a room where the nurse verified that I really was in labor and not only that, I was dilated to an 8 and 100% effaced with bulging water. (This was about 6:15am) Then moved me to my labor room and my Dr. arrived. They gave me a little bit of some kind of drug in my IV because there wasn’t enough time for anything else. The Dr. then broke my water and 3 pushes later my son was born. I had been in the hospital just over an hour when he came. He was perfect in every way and started to pee on the Dr. (as if it was his fault that he was just born!)

Today we are celebrating my son Isaac’s 7th birthday. This is the story of my pregnancy with him, and his premature birth and hospital stay. (I wrote it way back when he was a one year old. Isaac now has two younger brothers, ages almost 6 and 4.) After such a rocky start in his life, it is so wonderful to see him so healthy, strong, and smart. He is my miracle baby, even if he is a big seven year old now.

Let me tell you a little about my husband and me and the way we are as parents. We have always been close to our children. We hold our babies a lot. We do not leave them to cry. We do not leave them with babysitters when they are babies. We carry our babies in a sling. Our babies have all slept with us, and so have our toddlers and older ages who feel the need to be close to us at night. We try to be careful in our considerations of how to do things with and for our children. They are very precious to us and we see our role as parents as a Holy commission from God. With our 4th pregnancy and birth, we were about to find out how hard it would be to have so much of what is important to us disrupted and threatened.

When our third child, JP, was 15 months old we were thrilled to become pregnant again. Hubby and I had talked a lot about having an unassisted birth this time around. We felt very confident in our abilities to work together and have a baby without outside help. Hubby had caught babies #2 and 3 and loved that, and I never felt that I needed any other support than that from him. He was the only one I could be real with and that brought me peace.

When I was 2-3 months along I suddenly had some bleeding. I was alarmed at this and immediately began to pray for my baby. I did everything I knew to do to help, and the bleeding did slow down and by the next day had stopped. I was very careful after that to do no heavy lifting, etc. It was right before Christmas and I let a lot of errands and activities go undone. Two weeks later I had an odd episode of a sudden blood pressure surge. After that we went in to see our family doctor. He had no idea what to think of the blood pressure surge, but was able to put our minds to ease about the health of our precious baby, since we were able to hear his heartbeat.

One other puzzling thing at this visit was that I was measuring 4 weeks farther along than I thought I was. The doctor suggested we come back in a few weeks for an ultrasound to check for twins. Although we did not normally consent to ultrasound, because of the bleeding, blood pressure thing, and my much larger than expected self, we decided to go ahead. What we found was that I was actually a month farther along than I thought I was! I would have been less surprised to find that I was carrying triplets! But, still, not many women get to shave a whole month off of their pregnancies in a day, so I wasn’t about to complain! One other odd thing we found was a sort of strange blood bubble right over my cervix. The doctor was not sure what it was all about, but supposed that could be the cause of my periodic bleeding. (I had bled 2 or 3 times between our first visit with him and the ultrasound.)

In the weeks to come I had more bleeding episodes. It usually happened on a Friday, so it was not a time when I could get in to see my midwife from my third pregnancy or the doctor she works with. By Sat. or Sunday it was usually stopped again. I felt very precarious about things. Then, at 21 weeks I started bleeding on a Friday and it did not stop. I went in to see my doctor on Monday, and we decided to do another ultrasound. The blood bubble looked a little different, and at that point my doctor thought I may have placenta previa. He sent me on my way to a high-risk OB that had a more advanced ultrasound. On my way there I felt like I was in a fog. I had never been healthier going into a pregnancy than I was for this one. I had been eating a whole foods diet, no sugar, no meat, no dairy. I felt great. I was expecting to have the very best pregnancy I had ever had. So how could this be happening to me?!

My husband and I went on to the high risk place and had very kind treatment by the staff and doctor there. The baby looked great and healthy in every way. We were asked if we wanted to know the baby’s sex. We had never done this before and I immediately said no. But my husband said to me, “Let’s just have some good news right now. OK?” We have never had a preference about the sex of our babies, and we would have been thrilled with a boy or a girl. Somehow it seemed that it would be encouraging to know who we had inside there. It was very clear that we had another precious son!

We could not tell for sure what the blood bubble was about or if I had placenta previa, but clearly there was a problem and the doctor recommended that I go on full bed rest until further notice. What a shock! Bed rest?! I had 3 children at home, ages 1, 3, and 7. I homeschoolled then. My husband works 24 hour shifts! Oh my…

The drive home was surreal. I was in shock. I was suddenly in a high risk pregnancy. Wow.

We had been considering a few different names for our baby. Once we knew we had a son, there was no doubt in my mind what his name was. Isaac Elijah. Isaac means laughter, and when facing a scary pregnancy, I felt we should name him on faith that he would bring laughter to our lives. Elijah means gift from God. No need to explain that, eh? So, Isaac Elijah was his name.

I was on bed rest for 7 weeks, during which I experienced hemorrhaging 3 different times and was rushed to the hospital. In the hospital I was put on magnesium sulfate and turbutaline to keep my uterus calm. Uteruses are very smart. When they have something foreign inside of them they contract in order to expel it. Unfortunately for me, I kept bleeding, it kept irritating my uterus, and my uterus kept contracting…..which was putting my baby in jeopardy.

When I was 28 weeks I made my final emergency trip to the hospital for my worst hemorrhaging ever. I was found to be dilated to 4 cm. and was bleeding all the time (as I had been for the entire bedrest). We were told it was best for me to plan to stay in the hospital for the duration of my pregnancy since I lived nearly an hour away and things were so precarious. If I had thought bed rest at home was bad, being separated from my children was worse! I had never been away from my children until these hospital visits, and I missed them so badly and was just aching thinking of 3 long months of hospitalization and separation. I had already had to wean Jacob abruptly because of all the contractions I had been having. Now I could not even share cuddles and security with him throughout the day and night. When the children would come to visit me, Jacob refused to sit with me, touch me, or let me touch him. I am sure that all of my tubes and wires looked pretty scary to him.

I had to have the external uterine and contraction monitor belts on me at all times in order to keep tabs on my baby and whether or not I was having a placental abruption. I was told that this was the single most helpful indicator of danger. I hated knowing that my baby was constantly being bombarded with ultrasound. But I felt I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. It was getting to be a familiar feeling.

I was given steroid shots in order to help my baby’s lungs develop quicker. I had reservations about the wisdom of such shots, but with no time to research this, we felt we had to go with this recommendation in the hopes that it would help our baby.

Because of all the bleeding I continued to have, I ended up with a catheter. They did not want me to get out of bed at all, as any movement I had seemed to make the bleeding worse. It was such a humiliating and painful experience to have the catheter put in, and it was so very uncomfortable to have in. But, once again, it really did seem to be something reasonable that had to be done.

After a few days (maybe 5 or so) I started having contractions that I recognized as real ones. Despite all of our efforts, labor could not be stopped. We had increased the medications all that we could, and yet it was happening. Our baby needed to be born. My uterus could not hold him in any longer.

Once the doctors realized what was going on, they told me they wanted me to have a c-section. WHAT?! A c-sec for a 2 pound baby? I was indignant! My third baby had been almost 10 lbs. But, they explained to me that my baby was breech (which I already knew) and for preemies, their heads are more disproportionate to their bodies than full term babies. Apparently, sometimes when a preemie is breech, they will begin to be born before the mom is fully dilated, but then their head gets caught. I did not feel at all convinced that this was a big enough risk that I should submit to a c-section. I had done enough reading to know way more than I wanted to about the risks of the surgery, plus the risks of whatever pain relief I would choose. The doctors stressed that the combination of the breech risks, plus not knowing what other issues my baby might be facing at such an early gestation, that a c-sec would be the best thing. They were very respectful of our concern about having unneeded surgery. We told them we needed some time to pray about this and think it over. They left the room.

We called a few friends (at 5am!) and asked them to pray for the baby to turn out of his breech position so that I could have a vaginal birth. We prayed. Hubby and I decided that if the baby had not turned within 15 minutes that we would go ahead with the c-sec. The baby did not turn. We got the doctors back in and told them we would accept the c-sec. I made it clear that I was very concerned that I get a low transverse incision and that I hoped to go on to have more children and so they better be careful of me! The doctor was very kind and said that they would definitely do all they could to keep my body in good condition for future pregnancies.

The room went into a whirlwind of activity. I was getting an epidural, having my IV redone, signing papers, drinking nasty sour stuff to neutralize the contents of my stomach. Oh…and having contractions. The OR was brightly lit. I hated being in there and going numb and not having my husband with me. They were shaving some of my pubic hair. Everyone in masks. It made me feel like I was in outer space or something. But I had to do this for my baby. Hubby was then allowed into the room and the surgery began. It wasn’t long before Isaac was out. Hub exclaimed, “He’s breathing, honey! He’s pink! He looks great!” Then our baby was passed off to the NICU team without anyone having the decency to even let me look at him.

That was so painful. I was so saddened by that, I couldn’t even form the words to ask to look at my son. It seemed like it should have been so obvious to one and all that I needed to see my baby—the one I was sacrificing myself for! And yet nobody seemed to notice.

Isaac Elijah. 2 1/2 lbs. 13 inches long. Miracle baby.

Hubby went along with Isaac and ran back and forth to tell me what was going on. He was breathing and surpassing the NICU teams expectations. He did not need a ventilator or a central line. He was going to be a low-maintenance preemie.

The surgery was finished up with me being given some heavy drug that knocked me out for hours. I had never consented to such a thing and am still really bothered by that to this day. I can remember being so desperately thirsty and not being able to ask for water or ice, nor to reach for it myself, nor to find the call button to get help. My husband was off to the NICU to supervise what was happening with Isaac (which is exactly where I wanted him to be).

I later found out that when the doctors removed the placenta they found the real source of our problems in the pregnancy. I had a 50% abruption. It was along the back where I guess it could not really be seen by the ultrasound.

Knowing about this abruption has brought me peace about having agreed to the cesarean. If I had gone on to labor and attempt a vaginal birth it could have cost me my precious baby, and possibly even my own life.

The following pictures were taken when Isaac was about 1 week old.

I

Kangaroo care

Feeding through a tube

Isaac spent 40 long days in the NICU. I could tell you a lot of things about those 40 days.

I could tell you how awful it is to be in so much pain after surgery that you can’t even hitch yourself up to see your tiny baby who is inside of a plastic incubator.

I could tell you how bad it is to not be able to hold your baby for the first 5 days of his life. And I could tell you of the joy of finally getting to hold my baby and getting to feel **just a little bit** normal during that short first hold.

I could tell you how utterly sad it is to have strangers determine how long you can hold your baby for….and how soothing it is to get an experienced nurse who knows that my baby does best next to my skin for as long as possible.

I can tell you about the outrage we felt as so-called experts wanted to inject our just-born 2 1/2 lb, baby with a hepatitis shot because I did not have labs proving that I did not have it. (My husband battled this one while I was unconscious, and our son did not get poisoned by those people.)

I could tell you about pumping my breasts around the clock to be able to feed my baby. And the joy of having way more milk than he could possibly use.

I could tell you how I felt to be on a death walk every day as I left my 3 older children with friends, to go to the hospital, and then felt like dying again as I had to put my baby back in his box so that I could go home again. I could not be what I wanted to be to any of my children! Misery.

I could tell you how utterly awful it feels to have to walk away from your baby and leave him with a nurse who has been referring to other tiny babies as “spoiled brats.”

I could tell you how sad it is to not have been able to protect your baby from someone giving him the wrong medication.

I could tell you about the day that I decided to keep on trusting God only because the alternative was too painful for me to deal with.

I could tell you of the joy of walking out of that hospital with my tiny 4 lb. son and bringing him home where we could give him love and protection all day long…. Of the joy of seeing my older children meet their baby brother for the very first time….

Together for the first time.

I could tell you about the joy of finally getting my baby to nurse after 3 months of pumping….and the sadness of losing my milk supply completely when I became pregnant a few months later.

And now Isaac has been with us for 15 months. He is a wonderful, healthy, happy, smart, and loving boy. Despite his hard start in life, I do believe that he is as secure and happy as any of my other children. Our new baby is due at any time now, and I am hoping to reestablish my nursing relationship with Isaac once I have milk again.

Going through this experience with Isaac has given me a whole new understanding and appreciation for life and for understanding that things do not always go as we think they should. I am sure that I am now a much less judgmental person and more compassionate to those who have found themselves in situations where they were stuck choosing between two very poor alternatives. I don’t think I will ever be quick to assume why someone is bottle-feeding their baby ever again. I know I will never experience pregnancy the same way again, as I now have seen and held a tiny little guy who should not have been in my arms for 3 more months. My husband and I have grown so much through our experience with Isaac’s pregnancy and birth. I hope we never have to endure anything so difficult again.

I am so thankful to have laughter each day with my precious gift from God, Isaac Elijah.

Photographer Dierdre Ryan was generous enough to share her birth story here with us. You can visit Dierdre’s photography web site here.

i have multiple sclerosis, while i am in pain most of the time all day long and suffer from extreme fatigue, depression, cognitive problems and occasional weakness, my husband and i were determined to have a natural birth and we chose to use Hypnobirthing.

even though my estimated due date was sept. 10th, jayden was ready to come out into the world during deirdre’s 38th week.
i delivered naturally, with no pain medication using my Hypnobirthing breathing and relaxation techniques at Good Samaritan’s in Los Angeles, CA.

i was induced while still 2cm on Aug. 29th, and apparently was walking around all week with surges. dr. dwight was concerned about jayden’s limited movement, as she has been extremely active, and the fact that eating something sweet, and she didn’t move hardly at all was a concern. so he told me to go to maternity, where there was a room waiting and to start on an IV of antibiotics and extremely low dosage of pitocin. not what we wanted, but it was medically necessary. since arriving at the hospital, i was allowed to eat whatever and whenever i wanted. since my pregnancy was picture perfect with no morning sickness, etc. i do not get nauseated, so even on the pitocin, i was fine

i was 4cm dilated the next day and my waters were broken by my doctor. i had no idea that i was that far, there was no pain. around 5cm dilated, that’s when the surges started to come closer and stronger, but i said that the pain was manageable.

i did say “uncle” 30 minutes later, but by that time it was too late. i went from 5cm to fully dilated in about 30 minutes afterwards. jayden came out with only around 6 pushes.

i was walking around and eating a full lunch after everything was done. we went downstairs to post-partum, and enjoyed our daughter. on Aug. 31rst, we were all ready to go home, since i was doing well and jayden had no jaundice, eating fine, sleeping and had her first bowel movement, we got the ok to be discharged.

in the end, the Hypnobirthing was the reason that i did so well, i gave birth with no pain medications, with david, our doula by my side all day and night, and my mother was also there. we believe that for these reasons we were able to go home early.

here is what jayden’s name means: jayden(hebrew for God Has Heard) milagros(spanish for Miracle, also her mom’s middle name) Amalurra(basque for Mother Earth/deirdre has basque in her family).

to find out more about Hypnobirthing go to www.hypnobirthing.com

-deirdre

**Many thanks to Marla, who generously shares her birth story with us. Marla is expecting her second little bundle of joy later this year…hopefully we’ll get to hear about birth #2 too!

Want to share your birth story here? Send it to me at erica@TheBabyBoutiqueAtWombsWindow.com!

Here’s our tale of a fabulous birth, in a nutshell!

My first child, Stella was born nearly 2 years ago.
My husband and I attended a 3-hour/night, once a week for 8 weeks birthing class that we loved.
The instructor had kind of a mellowed out Bradley Method approach, with natural birth as the goal, but which educated us to be prepared for an emergency situation and plan for how we would want that handled, etc. IT was SO helpful and informative that my husband has now been known to get into conversations with strangers and has encouraged them to read and find a really informational class, learn about natural birth, and what-have-you…I often want to warn people that they need to request the condensed or EDITED version…

One of the instructor’s excercises in a prenatal yoga class that she also led, was to do kegel excercises, and as we relaxed the muscles, she would always say: “…and release, release, release your baby…relax and release your baby…” THis was one of the most helpful phrases and mental images I had in Stella’s birth. I was able to really think, while pushing, and contracting, “RELEASE”…which I believe was the reason my last stage of labor went so quickly.

The other great tip, was that when you feel a “burning” pain- it is your skin stretching…so when I felt that, I could tell my midwife, and she massaged the area, while (though seemingly impossible at the time) I stopped pushing during those contractions, and ended up with no tearing whatsoever.

I Do credit God, and through His guidance, our amazing midwife, Marcia McCulley with our beautiful and incredible birth experience…

She encouraged me to STAY home for the 2 days I labored, and when I DID go in after my water broke, our exhausted, worn bodies were greeted by candles, soft music, a warmed bed and a totally homelike environment in her birth center…but it was better than home- she had everything we needed, and an assistant that massaged and kept me hydrated, and kept my husband fed and watered:-) !

The only real struggle we had was my daughter’s wide shoulders…but due to some body maneuvering and my midwife’s saavy direction, strong and focused yet calm demeanor, we brought out our sweet angel in a little under an hour!

We were able to snuggle and hold stella, nursed immediately, and were home 3 hours later!

Hurrah!

Cheers! to midwives everywhere- who face great hardship and more than their fair share of persecution, in order to help women and men bring their children into the world as they wish and with safety and confidence!!! May they continue their work, uninterrupted, and free from struggle.

I’d add a little soap-box here, too-
If you do have a midwife, or are unable to access one, due to legislation, support them any way you can!!! Our dear midwife is facing unsubstantiated claims against her (by a local hospital that is very anti- midwifery), and legal struggles that she WILL prevail in- due to ALL claims being FALSE, but must endure and PAY for the legal work, court dates etc. ALl of which ( which is surely the plan- to tap you dry of funds and energy, and run you “out of town”) takes its toll on her work , and financial resources, not to mention, personal peace, and the joy she takes in doing what she does best. We as mothers are free to have our children in any way we chose, but those who help us are penalized?! What about the “land of the free?”

ok….I’m done .

More and more men are taking their role as daddy very seriously. There are many Internet sites dedicated to new fathers and helping them to navigate through the challenges. Member sites just for new dads are filling up quickly and daddy’s rush from work to attend their child’s nursery school event or soccer game. Never before has there been such an interest in hands on parenting in new fathers.

In the past, the majority of fathers were delighted with the new baby on the way, but coolly waited out the pregnancy not getting too involved except to assemble nursery furniture and attend birthing classes with their partner. Most only became involved when their child was old enough to interact with them.

Women bond faster with the new baby for obvious reasons. Mothering and nurturing come naturally to most new mommies, with a little common sense thrown in. Mothers learn to be a mother from the moment they are aware they are pregnant. It’s their job to take care of the baby in their body and that caring naturally continues after the birth.

Unfortunately, fathers don’t experience what mothers do. They have to learn to parent after the baby arrives. Suddenly they are expected to know how to be a father. They’ll draw upon their experiences growing up with their father and most will parent exactly as their fathers did. This can be good or it can be bad.

During the pregnancy, the mother-to-be is busy recording every thought, feeling and wish into her pregnancy journal. This process allows her to reflect and to plan how she will mother this new child. This process puts her far ahead of the new father when the new baby arrives.

It’s time to level the playing field and help the daddy-to-be bond earlier with his new child. Mothers can help by:
* Getting daddy to answer some of the questions in her pregnancy journal
* Have daddy record an audio for his new child of his hopes and wishes
* Write letters to his child during the pregnancy
* Have daddy think about how he was raised and how he wants to raise his new child

Too many children have grown up not knowing their father. It’s not natural for most men to verbalize their emotions or to record them. Our children have an intimate keepsake from their mothers. It’s time we help new fathers into fatherhood and assist them in bonding with our children during the pregnancy. Take a look at these wonderful tools for fathers and families as they welcome a new addition into their home!

In the beginning of your pregnancy, you’re consumed with excitement and you feel beautiful. It seems like the upcoming months will last forever as you plan, shop, decorate and bond deeper with your husband. You can’t imagine forgetting one moment of this exciting time. But just to make sure, you dutifully record every precious moment in your pregnancy journal along with the receipts and special mementos you’ve collected.

You’re pregnant and your emotions change all day long; excited, anxious, happy, sad, feeling beautiful, feeling fat. These feelings not only change all day, but they become stronger and different over the months as your baby grows inside you. Those emotions of feeling beautiful at the beginning of your pregnancy will change to emotions of feeling fat once you’re into your sixth or seventh month.

Finally the labor begins and you’re whisked off to the hospital or birthing center and your pregnancy journal is forgotten. You’re now concentrating on the labor and wishing it would be over. What a way to cap off a wonderful pregnancy, writhing in agony or thankfully medicated as the contractions take over your body. At this moment you can’t think of much you’d want to remember, except maybe those special moments with your partner.

Suddenly you are giving birth, your new baby has arrived and your wonderful new life is starting. You and your partner exchange emotional thoughts that will be remembered forever. These are moments burned in your memory to be shared in later years when your family is grown.

While you wrap up the labor and delivery those first few days, friends and relatives call and some stop by to view your baby in the nursery. You form a special relationship with your doctor and the nurses and other new mothers. As you drive your new baby home and safely nestle him in his new room, there are more special memories. From now on, everything you do is a special memory.

These are the times you want to record as a family keepsake. Your pregnancy journal may not leave much room to record the events that come after the delivery. You’ll want to have a new scrapbook ready or a new journal just for the labor and delivery. You might overlook giving birth as an event needing a special keepsake. Of course, you’ll remember the major special moments, but as the years go by, you will forget the minor events. You may have a video of the birth and of course, you’ll have many photos of the labor and delivery, but these don’t record your special thoughts and emotions that only you experienced.

When your new baby is grown and ready to commit to a family of his own, you’ll be asked a lot of questions about his birth. Imagine how wonderful it would be to have your keepsake to provide all the details you otherwise would have forgotten. This is a keepsake that will warm the heart of your now grown child as he/she realizes how special it is that you put so much time and effort into this keepsake.

Make plans early in your pregnancy to record these cherished memories of giving birth. These wonderful journaling tools are a great help–check them out here!

Today we have a homebirth story from Melanie. You can read more about Melanie at her blog here, or go check out her home business here.

My story starts on Monday (labor day). That late afternoon/evening I started having some fairly regular contractions through that afternoon and evening. They were regular enough to wonder if they would be the real thing eventually but not strong enough to know it was the real thing. By the evening they had died down some so I decided to try to sleep like normal. I had called my midwife just to let her know. I did end up going to sleep and sleeping well through the night and woke up without contractions in the morning. Tuesday I didn’t have contractions and not too many on Wed. Thursday I again had quite a few, but not any different than Monday. During this time my parents were up in WI where my brother lives. They were visiting him and ready to come down to our house (in MN) whenever I called that I was in labor. I also had my 2 midwives coming when in labor, a doula, and my mother-in-law coming to help out with the kids while I was in labor. So anyways, again the contractions went away by bedtime on Thursday so I went to sleep again. Thankfully they always went away during the night so I slept really well.

Friday I did start off having occasional contractions from right away in the morning so I did let Leland know at work just in case. Sometimes they seemed gone but occasionally I would get more. We had planned on having some good friends over for supper Fri. They have 4 kids similar ages to mine and were bringing pizza with them for all of us. (Papa Murphys take and bake) So anyways, my friend called late afternoon to check on what pizzas to get and to ask if it was ok if they camped overnight in our yard. I had actually thought of having this friend at my delivery possibly so we thought, maybe I’d be in full labor at night and then she could come in and be with me during labor. Not too long after that my husband called saying he was on his way home and shortly after that I started having stronger contractions more regularly that made me think I must be in the start of real labor. My friend called around 5:15 saying they had been running late and were now finally on their way over. I decided not to say anything about being in labor and just have them come.

So my husband gets home and I tell him I’m in labor, and my friends get there at around 5:45-6:00 and I mention to them that I’m pretty sure I’m in labor for real. She and her husband are like, Oh this is just wonderful and were totally happy/excited etc. and I’m just thinking, I don’t know how I’m going to cope with 9 children ages 7 and under running around and was trying to figure out how things were going to work out. I hung around with them a bit while they got the pizzas baking and the kids went outside and got the tent set up. Unfortunately it was probably in the low 60’s and really windy so it wasn’t great weather to be outside or anything. Finally I decided I had to escape and go away somewhere so I got my husband’s attention to come upstairs so I could talk to him. I was in quite strong labor with contractions every 3-4 minutes or so. So I told him I needed to get away and hide upstairs and I would call his mom to come and my doula to come so I knew she would be there with me. My husband said he’d get the supper thing taken care of and them come up to be with me so that the kids would be fed and all.

I was coping fairly well, though the contractions were quite strong/painful. I also called my midwife to inform her I was in real labor finally and all. She told me to keep her posted. I think all this was around 7:00 or so. I also ate an egg which my midwife suggested as I was kind of hungry from not having supper. My doula got there at around 7:30 or so and I moved downstairs to my bedroom as the kids had gone outside and I figured this would be farthest from them but in my own surroundings. I had originally planned on laboring & delivering in our big family room that looks over the lake and has our queen-sized bed in it. But with everyone around so much, I felt better hiding out in our room. So my doula brought the birth ball and I pretty much spent the rest of my time leaning/lying across the birth ball on the top of my belly.

By 8:00 or so, I was occasionally having contractions 1-2 min apart but those contractions weren’t as strong as if they went 2-3 min apart. Then they were VERY strong. So we called the midwife back. It was funny - I had my doula call her. When she called her the midwife asked how far apart my contractions were and my doula said, the last few were only about a minute or so apart and she started to continue saying something and the midwife had already hung up the phone to run out the door She lives about 20 min. away from here and called me back on her cell phone from the car to talk to her. I did talk to her on the phone between contractions for a short time. By this time I was doing a lot of moaning which I felt helped a lot. My husband was in there more then too and would massage my low back kind of hard with each contraction. I wasn’t having back labor, but it definitely helped. I also started to feel queasy during this time. Whenever I’m in strong labor I get shaky and cold and queasy and end up throwing up.

My midwife arrived around 8:30 and the first contraction after she got there I threw up a few times through that and the next contraction. I still felt a bit queasy after that but that feeling gradually went away enough that that was the only time I threw up thankfully. The contractions after that were getting quite strong. Somewhere around the 8:00 time, my husband was in and out a bit to give a game-plan for getting the ki